Sunday, January 6, 2008

I'm baaacccckkk!

I know I haven't written in this baby for a long time, but I only know of two people who actually read it, and one of them just had an amazing revelation about my feelings towards her.

"joanna: he kept saying shit in a british accent, but a terrible one
joanna: and i thought of you, because i wanted to punch him in the face
joanna: and i realized what he was doing was exactly something id do to you"

When I first read this conversation, I thought she had said "I realized what he was doing was exactly something you'd do to me", and I thought that was brilliant. But even with the dyslexia feature turned off, its still fantastic because it proves a point, Joanna and I derive an unnatural amount of pleasure from pissing each other off.

One of my most treasured moments in my life was riding in Joanna's car as we drove back to college after spending Easter weekend with our families. Joanna's had received a bag of jelly bellies for Easter, one of those big bags that are about 45% delicious and 55% want to vomit flavors. So, I made up a game where I told Joanna I was going to create delicious combinations of jelly bellies and feed them to her while she drove. (Yes, I physically placed the jelly bellies in her mouth. We actually do this often and preface said feedings with statements such as "if you eat this gummy worm, then when i die you'll have me cremated and swim in my ashes") (Did I mention we're the creepiest people alive?) But every single jelly belly combination I put in her mouth was disgusting. I'm talking "licorice-strawberry jam-pina colada" and "buttered popcorn-dr. pepper-pink grapefruit" combinations. Most of them were so bad that after she chewed them for a minute, she would spit them out of the window. But that was the thing. She would always think that this time, this next time, things were going to taste good. Sure, I said before each installment "this one is going to be so delicious" but after 3 or 4 times, wouldn't you stop believing me? Anyways, she never did and we laughed - stomach hurting howls - for about 2 hours straight. Because we truly derive an unnatural amount of pleasure from pissing each other off.