Friday, October 30, 2009

I have a PhD in horribleness

I was in my closet a few minutes ago picking out clothes to wear tonight and the millisecond I stepped out of the closet Jeff nailed me repeatedly with a marshmallow gun.

Thats right. A gun that shoots mini marshmallows using air pressure...I got about 50 in my face.

Jeff dropped to him knees, laughing so hard he was literally in tears and in between his tears cried out "OH MY GOD! THIS IS SO AWESOME!!"

Halloween is the greatest holiday ever.

*I will post pictures after Halloween that will make the subject line and the need for a marshmallow pellet gun make more sense. Just laugh about the fact that we've been in a marshmallow war for a few hours.

Thursday, October 29, 2009

facebook me!

I have too many facebook friends.

I'm not trying to sound conceded. Or too cool for other people but lets be honest - when you place the word "facebook" in front of the word "friend" it completely looses the validity and importance of said "friend".

For instance, here are some ways that I describe my dear friend Joanna -
My best friend
My oldest friend
My sorority sister
My brides maid

Here are ways that I could describe her but won't because they take away the validity of our relationship -
A girl I met in dance class
An old neighbor
Someone I know who lives in California
Facebook Friend

So today people, I will be doing some cleaning. It's a tricky thing though - I can't just go through and delete everyone except for people I'm still in touch with...there are some people that I don't necessarily talk to but still am interested in where their life has taken them.

Mainly, I'm deleting those people who, after a drunken night on the strip, junior year, facebooked me after we got home and we never ever spoke again. Or, the people that I friended in 2005 because I thought I knew who they were but I wasn't really sure because back then it wasn't quite as clear who was trying to contact me but it was kind of a badge of honor to have lots of facebook friends.

That should be a solid 150 people right there.

And then there are the people who I was friends with for like, a semester. We hit it off in French class, worked on a project again but every time they show up on my news feed I think "who is that person?"

Oh...and then there are those people that I totally know but just annoy me. They update their status 40 times a day. They "like" everything you do. Their constantly asking you to join their mafia groups or help feed their cows on their farms or some weird shit that I don't even understand.

But my biggest gripe...the first people that are getting deleted...are the people that "chat attack" every time I sign on to facebook. Hi. We went to high school together. We haven't spoken to each other in six years. Stop telling me about the script your writing every freakin' time I sign on to FB. You make me afraid to go on FB. I don't care if this hurts your feelings, you're about to get deleted.

You a few hours...when I've determined that I can sign back on without getting chat attacked by you.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Two Stories That Do Not Appear To Be Related But Are

Story 1 - When the seasons change I am prone to pretty killer sinus headaches that make me useless doing anything that requires the slightest head movement. It feels like my brain is rattling in my head. When this happens I have to act fast and I have two options. Benedryl or some kind of drug with Psuedophedrine in it. This is the stuff that meth is made out of.
I get jittery if I drink a Soda. This stuff makes me feel like I'm on crack. But unless I can spend my whole day sleeping then I have to pick it over the Benedryl.
It leaves me impaired. My brain jumps all over the place, I get hot and sweaty, my stomach feels weird all day, and I just don't function at the normal level that I've come accustomed too as a moderately intelligent adult.
But it's better than the sinus headaches.
This morning I got a sinus headache shortly before I had to go to work. So I took this -

Story 2 - I own deodorant and Icy Hot. They are both in a roller ball type dispensary.

Guess what I put on my arm pits after I came home from work and was feeling uncomfortable hot and sweaty?

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Charleston Ranked #2 on the Next Generation City list

According to this article, we young people are at a very interesting time. While generations before us had to determine where to live based on where they wanted to work, we now decide where to live and then get jobs.

Charleston is ranked number 2, because it's such a bad ass city.

I totally agree with this article because personally, we probably have 10 friends here who came here on vacation, or just decided they wanted to move somewhere cool and ended up here...and then got themselves a job.

Monday, October 12, 2009

Jeff and Sarah - k.i.t.

Jeff and I have been though so much together. Maybe I'm being a bit sentimental, but I just wanted to look back on some important times in our lives.

Shortly after we met. I had a steady with Donny Perkins but Jeff asked my folks if he could take me to the ice cream social. I didn't like Donny too much anyway and Jeff brought me a swell corsage that night.

Then things started changing, the whole air smelled different. Women started having options and voicing opinions, like how much dreamier her boyfriend looked with his coif instead of a buzz cut and why the bouffant was much more hip and with it then the wave. Also, we started saying "hip" and "with it". Yep, things were different all right.

And then we helped fight adversity. Can ya dig it? We were too fly to not be an interracial couple.

And then humidity came by and we lost all the fighting power in our mighty hair do's. And we started smokin' a lot of pot and couldn't be bothered with picks and hairspray, anyways. Chill out, man. We gotta like, love mother earth and stuff.


and then we went to rehab for like an entire decade. We had to kick it, and it was hard.

Jeff went back to the gonja, bro. But I was too worried about Y2K and the subtle highlights and the layers that framed my face to worry about that.

It's amazing how far we've come.

Let's Cause a Scene

Jeff and I met slightly over three years ago, as many of you know, at a concert in Jacksonville.

The band was The Format and they were phenomenal, but other wise not relative to the story.

What is relative is that at this tiny venue in Little Five Points called Fuel Coffee House, the AC was broken, the concert was sold out and it was July in Florida.

As I balanced in the passage way between the back of the joint where The Format was playing and the front where the front door was open, gasping for fresh air, I met him. This quite man who reserves his words for the people he knows well approached me. Talked to me. Had to talk to me. Had to know me.

"Who was that person?" I would ask him later on, once I found out how shy he was to strangers. "Where did the guy who talked to me at the concert come from?"

"I'm not sure" he told me "but I had to know you"

We were never strangers.

Last year The Format broke up, sad, I know. But true.

And then our friend Shannon came to Charleston a few weeks ago.

Shannon was originally just Jeff's friend, but that's only because I didn't know her yet. Shannon introduced Jeff to The Format. Shannon told Jeff to get off his butt that hot night in July and stop moping over some girl and go have a good time. Shannon is a good friend, I tell you.

When she came to visit a few weeks ago she brought us our wedding present from her.

"I tried contacting the band, but I only got an e-mail back from the person who runs the website" she told us "I asked if she could get a hold of Nate and Sam (the 2 main members of the format) and have them write you guys a note, or something. She said she couldn't. But she said she had some old poster lying around that was signed by them. I aimed high and got pretty low. I hope you don't mind"

(the poster, in all of it's awesome, framed glory, signed, however generically, by Nate and Sam)

Just the act of attempting to contact the band and get something for us is going to be hard to beat by anyone. But the poster is great. We love it.

And it may not be personally signed for us...but it's more special then Shannon realized. It's the poster from the show we met at.

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Dearest Joanna and Brittany,


thank you for your consideration,


edit - It's not that I'm jealous, it's that your two blogs are two of my favorites and when that little list over there ------->> bumps you guys up to the top, there by informing me that you've got a new post, but then I just end up reading your the same thing twice. Oh, and maybe I'm a little jealous.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

I'd like to try this new sport...I believe it's called "Yogging" I think the J is silent...

Jeff has a new website for his running team. They call themselves AKap, Awesome Kick Ass Performance Training Team.

Are you a runner? Do you wish you were a runner? Do you want to be a better runner no matter what level you're at?
Jeff would LOVE to make you a comprehensive training schedule...he's really good at perfecting a running regimen that is perfect for you, your skill level and your time commitment.

Just head on over to his website and shoot him an e-mail!

some akap members at a 5k in Charleston...Jeff (the one in the middle who isn't me ((note the one in the middle without boobs if you still need help)) won this race in 16:53, Jason (orange shorts) ran 19:28, Thomas (silver shorts) ran 27:14 and I (the one with boobs) finished the race...last...(ok, so there was like 30 people in the whole race but still, I finished and my point is, Jeff can help any person at any level, holler at him)

Monday, October 5, 2009

How to make youself look like a crazy person at Target

Fill your cart with every pair of 74 cent flip flops in the store.

Sunday, October 4, 2009

She bang, she bop bop

Last night, Jeff, a few friends of ours, and myself joined the “100 Beer Club” at Mellow Mushroom. Once we drink 100 different beers (in whatever time we want to do it in – safety first, please!) We get our name on a plaque, an engraved glass mug and other fun stuff. What could be better than that, you ask? Well I'll tell you what!
We had a Sean Burgundy spotting!! (You remember this story here, right?)
I was ecstatic that other people got to see just how legitimately he looked like Will Ferrell with a sweet ‘stache. Jeff was impressed that he was wearing the exact same thing that he was wearing when he tried to fight us.
After that we went to a party on somebody’s roof in the middle of downtown Charleston. As much as I’d like to believe that my city is progressive and forward thinking…lets be honest. I live in Charleston. The guy who was throwing the party pointed out along the skyline of all the houses that have been standing since, and I quote, “The fight for southern independence”. While it was a beautiful view, it was sullied by his constant insistence that the south will rise again. Until, you know, the cops showed up. Apparently the Lynard Skynard was being blasted too loud. After that he stopped screaming about the south and started screeching about how this never would have happened if Obama wasn’t president. When I was done laughing my ass off at him Jeff and I tried to catch a cab to take us from one end of downtown where the party was to the other side, where our car was. However, Charleston does not have an over population of cabs and they’re nearly impossible to come by, so we decided to walk. An hour later we got back to our car but not before noticing that people are out and about doing very bizarre things in the 2 am hour. My favorite incident was, while winding through the very ritzy residential homes of down town a drunk guy checking out a gated house with a big for sale sign (probably for 3 million dollars, not kidding) hollered at us from across the street.
“Hey! Do you think this house has a pool?”
“Hell yeah!” I screamed back
“Should I go see?”
“Um…Hell yeah!”
“Ok…wait right there. Gimmie 5 minutes!”

I wish I knew where this guy woke up this morning. This is the stuff is made of.