Sunday, November 23, 2008

About three things I was absolutley positive:

First: Twilight was one of the worst movies I have ever seen
Second: Some part of me, and I don't know how dominant that part might be, wants to see it for a third, possibly fourth time.
and Third, I am unconditionally and irrevocably in love with Twilight.

Since I've gotten started with lists, I'm going to give you my top five giggle like a little girl moments because its was so cute moments of the movie, and then my top five scoff like a judgmental 23 year old watching a really awful movie moments. And then, no more talk about twilight.

Top 5 best moments:
5. Charlie. Way to pull through and be the only decent actor in the movie, and to be pretty interesting to watch. I wanted more of you, and your 'stach. Especially considering how much your character sucks in the book.
4. After Bella realizes what Edward is, she walks past him at school into the abyss and he obediently follows. No words necessary.
3. Edward and Bella arrive at school together for the first time, everyone stares, so he puts his arm around her and says "I'm going to hell anyway"
2. Edward saves Bella from a group of sadistic frat boys and asks he to say something to distract her "You should put your seat belt on. What?! You should put your seat belt on!"
1. The first kiss "I've always wanted to try one thing - don't move."

Top 5 worst moments:
5. Pretty much the entire movie
4. Bella digging up a tiny cactus and planting it before she leaves Arizona. Getting on a plane, flying to forks, getting into her dads car, getting to her house, and she is still holding the cactus. First scene of the movie - first true indication that it was gonna be worse then I expected.
3. Any scene with Alice. I imagine that casting went something like this "Hey! Lets cast a robot as everyones hands down favorite character and then, when we find out what terrible actors robots are, lets cut all of her scenes!"
2. Edwards face as he sucks the venom out of Bella's arm.
1. Kristen Stewarts "acting" which includes all of the following and nothing more: head shakings/convulsions, rapid fire eyelash fluttering, only looking down at the ground, deep exhales after every three words.

Honorable mentions are awarded to the writers who decided to leave out all of the vampire origin stories which I was really looking forward to seeing on film, who left out Jaspers power which I was really interested to see how they would adapt to film, and Billy Black threatening Bella for being with Edward. In lieu of these interesting scenes they opted for 2 straight hours of deep exhales from Kristen Stewart.

Also, the guy who plays Jasper and that constipated face he makes through the entire movie.

Ok, no more talk of Twilight, promise! (these are in backwards chronological order, blogger wont let me fix it)
drinks before the movie the second night (possibly why i liked it a little more the 2nd time around)

No James! Don't!

Yes, frozen drinks outside on the beach in the windy cold was a terrible, terrible, idea.

bringing uno to wait in line on the first night was a really stellar idea.

notice the inappropriate black Christmas tree. (inappropriate because it isn't even thanksgiving yet!)

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Stupid Lamb

Have already purchaced tickets to go see the midnight showing of Twilight on Thursday night as well as a showing on Friday night with


and her,

and her.

Something about other people fueling your fire and blah blah blah.

And in other news:

Congrats, Tampa. You've officially crossed the two dollar mark!

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Middle Child Syndrome, 2.0

Well, well, well. If it isn't that time of year again...

In the past few days I have found myself giving my Thanksgiving-middle child rant to a lot of people. Last night when I watched Brittany decorate her black christmas tree, the line was drawn. While her tree is extremely bad ass, IT ISN'T TIME FOR IT YET. Shame on you, shame on all of you who are even thinking of decorating for Christmas before Thanksgiving.

In leu of writing yet another rant, I'm just going to refrence you back to a post I wrote last year.

Here's the jist:

"Do you know how badly Thanksgivings feelings have been hurt? I mean, he's the middle child which is hard enough for anybody, but then theres all the other things. No one puts out thanksgiving deorations, or gives thanksgiving presents or thanksgiving candy to children in thanksgiving cotumes. Thanksgiving really has only got two things; family and food. But, Christmas does that, too. Thanksgiving tries to stay calm about the whole situation, trying to think about all the things he greatful for. The wonderful bounty of food that is brought forth, uniting families in laughter and happiness. He even thinks he was put in the middle for a reason - to let everyone take a rest between his older and younger siblings events. Usually, this is enough to keep him from feeling like the blacksheep of the family, but recently, it's been harder and harder to keep this positive attitude, but this year? This year Chritsmas has crossed the line!Halloween excitment grew for a month. Houses were decorated, parties were thrown. Thanksgiving waited paitinently and now it's his month. Christmas, you're already the prettiest and most adored holiday, so just back off for a few weeks! Your time will come, it always does!
How would you like it if we started sending valentines and dying easter eggs in december?
Didn't think so."

So please, be good for goodness sakes. Give Thanksgiving a chance.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Potty Training Cat - FAIL!!

Ever since I learned you could potty train a cat I knew as soon as I got a new precious little feline I wouldn't waste anytime introducing her to this convenient (for me, anyway) way of life.

Cats are smart, and more importantly don't like to piss and shit anywhere that isn't where they always piss and shit. Cats are clean and understand that their droppings are not.

The basic steps I was trying to follow, based on my memory or what I had read YEARS ago went like this-

Put a pan on top of the toilet so the cat knows to get on top of the toilet to potty
Once comfortable with that, open the toilet and balance the pan on the toilet seat so the cat came become aware of boundaries with the hole.
Slowly over time begin cutting a hole at the bottom center of the pan, progressively making it larger and larger while at the same time reducing the amount of kitty litter.
Once the hole is as large as the toilet opening, remove the pan and, VOILA!
Potty trained cat.

Ok, so Admiral Pixy Dust, my dear sweet kitten, takes to jumping up on the toilet right away, and once I place it on the open toilet it's like she never knew any better.

But then I got to thinking...if I start cutting holes in the middle of the pan, its just gonna collapse on itself, not to mention the kitty litter that would fall into the toilet.

Plus, every once and a while she would topple over in the box which was always a set back.

So I looked online and found a similar solution but with a bowl.

You place a bowl in the toilet and gradually reduce the amount of kitty litter, mean while, every time you see her potty, influence her feet on to the rim of the toilet until she gets the idea. Then, slowly fill the bowl with water, remove bowl and, VOILA!
Potty trained cat.

This has failed.
Not for a lack of trying. Or ability on Pixies behalf.

It is, and believe me when I say this, impossible to find a bowl that is both the EXACT size of your toilet and sturdy enough to hold a cat. I finally found a bowl that, with the use of handles over the rim, I thought would be fine. And it is fine, as long as she isn't sitting in it. Or scratching in it. Or moving too much. Because if it is then it topsides into the toilet.

Not to mention that I have never EVER caught her in the act of going to the bathroom to help show her how she should be.

So in the past few days she has, understandably, HAD. IT.
She can't take it anymore. She won't get back on the toilet. She's done. She's taking to peeing in beds, both human and dog, and pooping in the corner right next to the toilet.

So, this morning I decided that I hadn't given up but we had to start over. I thought going pack to the last successful point and reevaluating would be a good idea. So I put her pan with litter back on top of the toilet.

20 minutes ago, the thing capsized completely upside down.

I just ordered this.

By the way, all of this is 97.2% because of how amazingly lazy I am.

the other 2.8% is because of how unbelievably foul the things that come out of her butt are.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Music Appreciation 1101

Some bands I'm getting to know in a personal way and totally diggin' every minute of our blossoming love affairs-

Some other bands that I'm still sweet on after all these years-

At the Maroon5/Counting Crows concert last month with one that makes all the songs in the world work harder to be unreal...even if he's making fun of my singing...
Our entire relationship has been intrinsically woven through music like a silky spider web. We met at The Format concert, he told me he loved me for the first time with the help of my favorite musical, we thrill ourselves with finding new music to share with each other. Lay in bed at night and fall asleep sharing our new joys. Endless IPod mixes, singing wrong lyrics, and oh the plans we have for our wedding! I have always been passionate about music, since I was a baby, almost obsessive. Of course now I know I was simply fine tuning my ability to construct the soundtrack for the life I had waiting for me. Searching for the right lyrics. Planning the ultimate play list.
Come what may...

Monday, November 10, 2008

Live Free, Twihard.

Hi. My name is Sarah and I'm a Twilightaholic.

I haven't been sober since I started reading them back in July, I've only been keeping it a secret from all of you out here in blog world.

It's really becoming a problem. My fiance can't stand it. They are really some god awful pieces of literature. And yet my thoughts are constantly consumed with those of the dear sweet edward cullen and all of the things I would do if I were a vampire.

I went to lunch with Brittany today and we talked about Twilight the entire time.

We talked about how all of the characters in the book suck.

We talked about how the suck.

How the writing is terrible. Stop saying incredulous and nudger all the time Stepenie Meyer.

We talked about how winy and annoying Bella is.

How only someone mentally unstable wouldn't be able to move on when their high school boyfriend of like 3 months left them and then another great guy was in love her and she treats him like shit.

FUCKING RENESME. Whatever editor let Stephenie Meyer name a character RENESME needs to be fired. Black listed.

Breaking Dawn is more like a ten year old girl with no imagination wrote it then the same person who wrote Twilight.

We talked about how we can not wait for the movie to come out.
We discussed whether or not we should wear vampire fangs to the premiere. Not because of how unbelievably nerdy it is but because these vampires don't have fangs and we can't decide if its insulting or in honor.

We exchanged music that we have heard since reading the Twilight series and are convinced that it has to be about Twilight. Seriously, these bands wrote songs about Twilight whether they'll admit it or not.

We talked about how we're going to the Borders Twilght party on Saturday.

Well, it feels good to get that off of my chest.

Me on halloween...clearly i thought the fangs were a good idea, and, yes, thats a shirt with the cullen family crest on it.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

YES WE DID! (sort of...)

America, I am proud of you. Proud of us.

We, the people, have officially invited this passionate, innovative, honest man to lead our country out of this funk and slump of anger resentment and divisiveness and back to a place where we can stand up and truthfully say I AM PROUD TO BE AN AMERICAN!! MY COUNTRY IS THE SHIT!

I've always tried to conjure up these feelings of patriotism, and while I certainly know how lucky I am to be citizen of the USA, I have never truly had that love that my parents and grandparents have.  As long as I have had any sense of politics, proclaiming your love of America meant blindly following bad leaders, and questioning and doubting them was unpatriotic. But here we are, we've done something HUGE guys. I can feel the joy in our country, the collective sigh of relief, the more steadied and relaxed heart beat of our nation. It's palpable.

Even you, Florida. I didn't know if you would pull through - but you did...kind of. We as a very torn state chose Obama but we also chose to pass amendment 2 - which changes our constitution to specify marriage as between a man and a woman and to make sure that no other types of unions are honored in the same way.

Gay marriage is already illegal in Florida. This wouldn't have changed if amendment 2 didn't pass. But somethings got to change, right?

Big time.

We have a huge elderly population in our sunshine state, that's no secret to anyone. A lot of these people are widowed or divorced or never married but are sick, in the last chapters of their lives. A ton of these people have legal unions where in which a friend of family member is granted the same legal rights as married couples - ie hospital visits, estate rights, health insurance. 

Guess what? This is now illegal. null and void. So who will be caring for these elderly people who have friends and family but they aren't legally aloud to care for them in hospital settings or have any kind of financial restitution for their time? State appointed care workers. Which we pay for in our taxes. So, there ya go. 

Was it worth it to be certain that two people deeply devoted to each other couldn't live equally as you because of their genders?