Thursday, February 7, 2008

The ties that bind

My best friend from high school is getting married and I wasn't invited to the wedding.
This isn't entirely shocking to me.

Our senior year we had a huge falling out, on the level that only 17 year olds can truly achieve. It was the scandal of the year. For the first time in my life I was the victim of real gossip and lies. I would walk into a room and every person would stop talking. People I had never even seen before knew who I was. Everything I did spawned new rumors. The entire school took sides, hers or mine, and while neither of us was right or wrong, for some reason it catapulted me into superstardom and sent her into such a slump that she graduated high school a semester early to escape it all.

It's truly terrible, I know.

She was then my mortal enemy for a good, solid year.

But then, our sophmore years of college we made amends. She was deffenitely the bigger person in the whole process and that Christmas break she took me out with all of her new friends in a town that I was no longer familliar with. But as things often go when you put time and places and people into the mix, we both knew we could never be best friends again. We lived in different cities. We had different groups of friends. We did totally different things.
We wern't the same people that we were when we were 14 and 15 and 16 but I could once again truly appreciate her for a what a caring, beautiful and intelligent person she was and I could look back on our time together with real happiness.

Whenever I imagine my wedding, the colors, the locations, the flowers, and the guest list, shes always on it. The gesture that says "while we aren't close now, at one point you meant so much to me that I want you to share this day with me".

So I guess my point is, I'm not offended that I wasn't invited to her wedding. I just hope that despite it all, she was able to forgive me and think back on our time as best friends with real happiness, because it never really occured to me until now that she might not.


Robyn said...

I can totally relate to this. My best friend in high school talked about me being a bridesmaid and us growing old and watching our grandkids play from our porches etc etc. We had a falling out when I got engaged and took the spotlight off of her engagement. She insisted I was too young (same age as when she got engaged...) and being engaged wasn't all it was cracked up to be. We didn't speak much after that and she was shocked when I was offended I wasn't invited to the wedding.