Thursday, February 21, 2008

The single handed, most rediculous, and slightly blasfamous, conversation of all time.

What it sounds like to be Sarah and Amanda, discussing the vast secrets of Lost and religion:

Amanda: so I just ruined Lost for my friend who lent me season 1

Sarah: oh yeah, how did you do that?

Amanda: i said that Aaron is jesus and Locke is god

Sarah: oh, they hadn't figured that out yet?

Amanda: not the brightest crayon in the box

Amanda: he got the religious connotations

Amanda: but wasnt clear on them

Sarah: well, now he understands. i'm the virgin mary, btw.

Sarah: and you're the camel in the manger

Amanda: why am I the camel

Amanda: and you are NO virgin

Sarah: because you store water

Sarah: in your back

Sarah: duh

Amanda: so that would make u the inn keeper

Sarah: why?

Amanda: becuase youre the mean one who hate virgins and prego people

Amanda: and wont share

Sarah: i do hate virgins. thats a fact.

Sarah: but i ate baby jesusaaron for breakfast. I shared him with walt who is obviously the little drummer boy

Amanda: see, a virgin hating non-virgin cant be a virgin

Amanda: walt is obvisouly the drummer boy, but a canabal at heart

Amanda: ohh what trickery the bible has played on us

Sarah: yeah.

Sarah: indeed.

Sarah: when aaron grows up he turns into sayeed cuz, i mean, jesus is middle eastern

Amanda: f that, Im becoming a pagen again, ALL HAIL ZUSE!

Amanda: wow, how does that happen, arron turnig into sayeed, ohh because of the island to real world time difference

Sarah: exactly. aaron leaves the island, grows up, turns middle eastern, (ie, me and walt eat him then he gets pooped out) then returns as an adult but doesn't know that its him because its a little white baby

Amanda: yeah, thats why all middle easterns are brown,. they were shat out by you back in the biblical days when u turned down mary


Sarah: have you ever seen dogma?

Amanda: yes

Sarah: that movie is all about religion and they have a shit monster!

Amanda: they do!!!!

Amanda: see,. its all in the bible

Amanda: they just re woreded it so ppl would take jesusarron side and not youre

Amanda: its all a scam

Amanda: that Sawyer taught claire

Sarah: whatever man, i dont care. im not gonna hate on them. lost is bringing the truth out


Amanda: wait wait

Amanda: since me and you are always enemies in every story we make up

Amanda: and youre the anit christ that ate jesus

Amanda: that would make me GOD!

Amanda: b/c clearly Im not the camel

Sarah: but...but...

Sarah: does that make you...locke?

Amanda: soon sarah, the anit christ, we will battle

Amanda: i am god, i can take any form

Sarah: the holy trinity? the father, amanda and the holy locke?

Amanda: thats IT

Sarah: hold on though. walt comes back as a ghost figment type being...and also a lot taller and more grown maybe the trinity is "locke, amanda and the holy walt"

Sarah: taller ghost walt

Amanda: no, b/c walt eat jesus

Amanda: he cant eat himself

Amanda: that would make walt jesus

Amanda: and arron something else

Sarah: but walt is the holy ghost

Sarah: taller holy ghost walt

Amanda: but they are all the same thing me, lock and the ghost, so are we saying that jesus isnt even part of the holy trinity that he said he ws to be part of

Amanda: we just cracked the foundation of religion

Sarah: holy crap! where does aaron fit into the equation?!?! there isn't enough spots! its like musical chairs

Amanda: maybe arron is a decoy

Sarah: i just instantly pictured one of those cpr babies

Sarah: and you kinda shaking it as a visual going "decoy! decoy!"

Amanda: aaron is the anti christ

Amanda: its your spawn

Amanda: and he betrays you

Amanda: so u eat him

Amanda: to teach him a lesson

Amanda: i hear the digestive track can be very painful

Sarah: and then poop out sayeed

Amanda: and thatys why sayeed is so bad ass, i mean you have to be to survive the small instestine


Sarah: i have to put this convo, slighly edited for content, in my blog

Amanda: please do it, i dont want proof of this convo to disapear into the void that is the information super highway never to be retrived again

Sarah: mary and david walked along the information super highway before
giving birth to aaron. Which means we're back to where we started. Jesus = aaron.

Amanda: Ah ha. We've come full circle!


Anonymous said...

So when word breaks that we are God and the Anit-Christ, and all the mdeia people are all up in out business for interviews, do not under any condition interview with Barbra walters, that skanky bitch, I hate her!