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Tuesday, May 13, 2008

How to Tip at a Restaurant: Etiquette and Advice From a Server

Going out to eat is a privilege. It is a break from the mundane and allows you to be waited on, having all of your reasonable request fulfilled while a meal is made specially for you so you don't have to dirty your kitchen, make the food or even stand up to get it. We bring it to you.
We want you to be happy with your dining experience.
We want you to leave with a full belly and a happy heart after experiencing a delicious meal and laughter with friends or family.

This can't always happen, but we'll always try.

Sometimes you're in a bad mood, so there's nothing we can do to satisfy you. Sometimes the restaurant is really busy and it might take 25 minutes for you to get your dinner. Sometimes your server will screw stuff up because they're human. Sometimes the kitchen will screw things up for the same reason. Sometimes you'll order incorrectly or order something and not like it.

These are the risks you take when you go out to eat at a restaurant.

With that being said, servers make about 3 dollars an hour on average. 3 dollars. And on average we work about 4 hours a shift. That's 12 dollars a shift that goes onto a paycheck. How could anyone possibly survive on this kind of money? Because of you, my dear friends. It's your tips that make up our salaries. We totally and completely depend on you. This is why we'll always try to give you a great experience.

What is deemed as an acceptable tip is 15 - 20%. Anything more is considered exemplary, anything less is considered insulting. I've even got an easy trick for you; say your bill is $27.54. Count one dollar for every 5 dollars, rounding down. A 5 dollar tip is acceptable for that size bill.

Most people know this, but let me throw in some examples so, if you happen to be in the following situations, you can feel prepared.

Children: Children are always welcome. They are precious and adorable. Also, their meals cost 3 dollars a plate, and most of that food, as well as the crayons and any bit of anything they can get their hands on ends up on the floor stomped deep into the carpet for your server to clean up after you leave. It is not expected that you clean up after your children at a restaurant. Again, this is one of the luxuries of eating out. However, you should tip at least 25% knowing that your server will be on the ground trying to dig up pieces of french fries and cracker crumbs out of the carpet so she can get sat again.

Insisting on Taking the Bill: "Hey, when you come back, go ahead and bring the check. I'm gonna pay for it all". I cringe when I hear these words. 70% of the time the person who has offered to pay has not realized that everyone ordered a meal costing at least 15 dollars, had a few beers, and did you forget about that appetizer you got? They offer to pay because they don't think 4 people can do that much damage. But then they get the bill for $84.63 and suddenly they go into panic mode. This is more than they expected to pay. To make up for it, they leave a 5 dollar tip. Don't offer to pay for the entire bill unless you can afford to leave an acceptable tip. The larger the party, the worse the percentage is for the servers.
Side note: 5 dollars is not an acceptable tip unless your bill is 25 dollars, get over this 5 dollar thing!

Discounts: You got a discount on your bill for whatever reason.
Tip for the amount that your bill would have been without the discount.

Not Leaving a good Tip for you Server because:
You had to wait long to be seated.
Your food wasn't good.
Your drink from the bar was wrong.
Your blind date is an ass hole.
You're an ass hole.
These things have nothing to do with your server, please do not take it out on her by way of her tip because whatever your mad about that had nothing to do with her, does not get rectified. Don't shoot the messenger, ya know?

Going out to eat is a privilege. If you can not commit at least 15% of your bill in tip form for your server, don't go out to eat. It's that simple.

And look, if your server calls you fat or tells your husband that he can do better than you or spits in your food or whatever; don't just leave them a shitty tip, tell their managers or punch them in the face. But we work our asses off to provide for you and all we ask in return is a reasonable tip. We even leave a little line on your credit card receipt for you to fill it out.

24 comments:

Becs said...

YES!!! Awesome.

Vanessa said...

I always go for the 20% tip and a really easy way for this to be calculated is this. Take the decimal, move one space to the left and double what is to the left of the decimal. Example: Bill is $40. Move decimal one space to the left leave $4. Double this to equal $8. There is your 20% tip. $50 check? $10 tip. See? Easy!

BTW, in Texas servers make $2.13/hr and its a huge shock over waiting tables in Seattle where servers make almost $8/hr plus tips. It's a tough job for what often amounts to not enough money.

bittersweetheart said...

Oh so true. I'm so glad someone has posted about that. I bartend/waitress on the side and I cannot believe the nerve of some assholes. And just because you're foreign and your country doesn't tip doesn't mean you don't tip in America. That one pisses me off the most.

Springs1 said...

"Not Leaving a good Tip for you Server because:
Your drink from the bar was wrong. These things have nothing to do with your server, please do not take it out on her by way of her tip."

Have had that to be the SERVER'S fault TWICE. One time my waitress took my order for a WHITE RUSSIAN with kahlua and grey goose vodka. She comes to bring a long glass that had an ice cream mudslide in it. That was HER FAULT she BROUGHT out the WRONG DRINK, NOT the bartender's fault. I don't care if the bartender made the wrong drink, it's up to my SERVER to NOTICE it with their EYES. She probably put the order in wrong to begin with.

Another time, I ordered a white russian with kahlua and absolute vodka. The waitress STUPIDLY comes with a CLEAR GLASS WITH A VERY DARK LIQUID. I ask her "That's a white russian." Anyway, she was so UNEDUCATED about alcohol, she thought I was listing ALL the ingredients. I NEVER have ONCE had to say "I want a white russian with CREAM OR MILK with kahlua and absolute vodka." WHY? COMMON SENSE would be a WHITE RUSSIAN IS WHITE NOT BLACK!!! It was HER FAULT she got the order wrong brought to me. A CLEAR GLASS you can SEE the drink didn't have milk or cream in it. She should have tried to get some education on some of the most popular bar drinks sold today.

Another thing, if I order salt with my margarita, it's up to my SERVER to notice if I have salt on the rim of my glass, NOT up to the bartender, because my server is BRINGING it out to me, so they have a CHANCE to NOTICE salt or no salt.

Same thing if I say "No cherrie" in a pina colada when they have one staring at your face on the top of my drink. If my server can NOTICE a mistake, it's THEIR FAULT 100% for BRINGING IT OUT WRONG.

Another thing, if I normally order a margarita at a certain restaurant with the glass filled, if it's definately got much less in the glass, you shouldn't bring it out. Shorting me is YOUR FAULT you don't tell the bartender to put more ice or more drink to fill the glass. It's up to MY SERVER to get the drink CORRECT TO ME as far as OBVIOUS mistakes go.

I am NOT saying ALL bar drink mistakes are the server's fault, because there are some mistakes that could be the bartender's fault, but it's VERY RARE.

MOST bar drink mess ups ARE the SERVER'S FAULT! Bar drinks being wrong can DEFINATELY have something to do with the server being at fault. WHERE do you get that it can't, when I have PERSONALLY EXPERIENCED IT MYSELF? Like you cannot put an order incorrectly into the computer system or bring it out with obvious stuff wrong? You act like it's ALWAYS the bartender's fault for bar drink mess-ups.

Just as you said this: "Sometimes your server will screw stuff up because they're human." Well, WHY can't you realize YOU CAN SCREW UP BAR DRINKS AS WELL AS FOOD? I KNOW, because I have EXPERIENCED THE SITUATIONS. I KNOW WHO'S FAULT IT WAS. It's like DUH, when that clear glass was dark and when the long glass wasn't my small glass white russian I usually get.

"Discounts: You got a discount on your bill for whatever reason.
Tip for the amount that your bill would have been without the discount."

That would be ONLY, ONLY, ONLY, ONLY, if the reason wouldn't be the SERVER'S FAULT such as using a comp from a previous bad experience. LIKE HELL I WOULD PAY A SERVER WELL TO GET MY ENTREE COMPLETELY WRONG!! I may not stiff the server if they try to make up for the mistake, but I won't tip at least 15%, because it's NOT DESERVED. I may stiff the server if the server acts like he or she doesn't care like things such as not apologizing.

"However, you should tip at least 25% knowing that your server will be on the ground trying to dig up pieces of french fries and cracker crumbs out of the carpet so she can get sat again."

Since when does ANYONE, INCLUDING YOURSELF" tip for things that occur AFTER the SERVICE IS OVER WITH? If you have to clean up afterwards, that's NOT PART OF THE CUSTOMER'S SERVICE WHAT-SO-EVER. That doesn't benefit the customers that have left. Do you honestly think ANYONE in their right mind CARES about what happens AFTER they LEAVE A RESTAURANT? Even you don't, so don't lie. The next customers that are sat have NOTHING to do with the mess you are cleaning either. 25% is for service that is RECEIVED, NOT that is NOT RECEIVED. HOW DARE YOU ACT LIKE PEOPLE ARE SUPPOSED TO PAY FOR WHAT HAPPENS *********AFTER*********** THEY LEAVE A RESTAURANT!! It's NOT THEIR RESPONSIBLITY TO PAY FOR SOMETHING THEY AREN'T RECEIVING. Customers are supposed to tip for SERVICE ONLY, NOT FOR THINGS THAT OCCUR AFTER THEY HAVE LEFT THE RESTAURANT. You are cleaning to get the next customers seated, THAT'S ALL. That in of itself has absolutely NOTHING to do with the customers that have LEFT already. WHY would ANYONE pay for a service they couldn't POSSIBLY RECEIVE? Does that make ANY SENSE? OF COURSE IT DOESN'T. Cleaning up is for the restaurant's upkeep, NOT for the customers that have left the restaurant. You must have been born under a rock not to realize that. Tipping is for services RECEIVED ONLY, NOT for events that occur AFTER the customers LEAVE the restaurant.

Sarah said...

Speaking of "the nerve of some ass holes". holy fuck dude, stay out of my restaurant. You're a grade-A nutbag.

Springs1 said...

"holy fuck dude, stay out of my restaurant. You're a grade-A nutbag."

NO, you just do NOT want to hear the TRUTH. The TRUTH HURTS, DOESN'T IT?

Servers CAN be at fault for bar drinks being wrong. WHY can't you understand that is the GOD's TRUTH?

WHY would you feel someone should pay for service they aren't receiving?

WHY should you feel like a MANAGER making up for a MAJOR mistake makes YOU make up for a MAJOR MISTAKE? ONLY way that happens is if YOU are the person that goes to the manager to ask for the comp if YOU messed up really badly such as a wrong entree or forgetting to put in someone's order. If the CUSTOMER has to ask for the manager, then WHY should they tip you PERIOD?

Sarah said...

Like I wrote on your blog; again, I'm sorry for your loss. It is a terrible tragedy that something so awful had to happen to you like, I don't know, I'm guessing a plate of spaghetti was poisoned by a server and killed your little sister, or maybe a bartender slashed your mothers throat with a broken beer bottle, or maybe your dead beat dad left your family for a cocktail waitress. Whatever the case may be, seek professional help so you can move on.

And also, can't stress this enough. If you hate the restaurant industry so much, stay the hell out of it.

bittersweetheart said...

In response to the incredibly ignorant "Springs1":

You obviously have never worked in the restaurant industry or had to wait on someone like yourself. There's so much I could say, but I'll stick to the most ridiculous of your rant:

Restaurants pay shitty wages to servers for the "upkeep" of the restaurant. Most people are clean and do not require the server to do much extra cleanup after they leave. However, most considerate customers realize that their children are messy, or their drunken selves are messy and tip to compensate the server for the extra time spent cleaning up after what they've messed up. That extra time cleaning detracts from the time they could spend giving good service to another customer who may not realize they're order is taken a few minutes late because of the messy people that just left. It's common courtesy to notice the world around yourself and put yourself in someone else's shoes. You would not like to be the one scrubbing french fries out of the carpet underneath a table for ten minutes while missing out on another table and another possibly awesome tip. It comes down to thinking about someone else besides yourself and not thinking that the world fucking revolves around your lazy ass.

What's this "God's truth" you're talking about? Does it say in the bible "Thou shalt not tip thy waiter more for thou child's mess"?

Also, you could have spent more time thinking about how shitty it is that you think the world revolves around you had you used less capital letters, or better yet, not written such an ignorant comment in the first place.

I'm a bartender AND a server and everyone makes mistakes. Servers, especially younger ones with less drinking experience tend to not know much about drinks. It's not their job to know the drinks. Bartenders sometimes get the wrong order through the machine or are so busy they god forbit make a mistake. It happens. I don't know what you do for a living but I'm sure you've made mistakes as well. I hope your ignorant self isn't teaching our children.

Springs1 said...

bittersweetheart
"You obviously have never worked in the restaurant industry"

I have worked at a donut shop/diner for over 2yrs off and on during my college years between 1998-2002. Sure, it's not the same exactly, but I DID do some waitress type of duties and had to deal with bitchy customers that complained, especially the ones that wanted something for free.

I can say "OBVIOUSLY you have AREN'T A CUSTOMER VERY MUCH." My husband and I are customers EVERY SINGLE WEEKEND just about since November of 2000. Think about it, that's a LONG TIME to get a LOT OF EXPERIENCES to be MUCH MORE KNOWLEDGEABLE THAN A LOT OF THE SERVERS THAT SERVE US IT SEEMS. Bringing out completely wrong food to only a party of 2 is ridiculous. I can understand more if we were like in a party of like 8, but 2 people is really not that difficult to get the entrées and side dishes correct.

"However, most considerate customers realize that their children are messy, or their drunken selves are messy and tip to compensate the server for the extra time spent cleaning up after what they've messed up."

NO, if that was the case, then WHY would Sarah and other servers GRIPE about it "MOST" customers would feel that way? If anything, if MOST customers would feel that way, there would be NO REAL REASON TO BITCH, now WOULD THERE?

The extra TIME is AFTER the customer has left, therefore it shouldn't be considered in the tip EVER, AT ALL!! The mess is left for usually a BUSSER more than likely than the server ANYWAYS in MOST cases.

"That extra time cleaning detracts from the time they could spend giving good service to another customer who may not realize they're order is taken a few minutes late because of the messy people that just left."

First off, GOOD, CARING, servers get HOT FOOD FIRST and leave the mess for LAST! Secondly, a lot of restaurants have food runners or servers running each other's food, so normally the food would be brought out when it's ready and not just sit there. Thirdly, WHO CARES what the OTHER CUSTOMERS have or don't have, because you really, honestly, think that OTHER CUSTOMERS ARE WORRIED ABOUT YOUR SERVICE? I THINK NOT!!!! I sure as hell don't think about anyone else's service and I don't know WHO THEIR RIGHT MIND WOULD?

"It's common courtesy to notice the world around yourself and put yourself in someone else's shoes."

I don't agree with every situation. Common courtesy when you have a group of people, usually ends up having that common courtesy being towards on part and not the other part. For instance, in traffic, I have noticed people that will leave people in from a gas station when the light turns green which may be considerate ONLY to that person coming out of the gas station, but what about the LINE of people BEHIND that car that would like to go at that green light? That's RUDE to them. So, it's actually only being courteous to the person coming out. In a restaurant, it's a huge group of people in the restaurant, so some people will end up being on the wrong end of the stick per say. Things such as if a server is triple sat, the first table seems to wait the longest for things due to getting all of the customer's orders in a row instead of individually like a line. It's courteous to the third table, but not to the first table. Making table 1 wait 10 minutes for 2 cokes when they could have had their cokes in like 3-5 minutes is RUDE to table 1, but courteous to table 3 by thinking of their time first.

So when you say it's common courtesy to think of others, well not in all cases is it for EVERYONE in a certain situation.

"You would not like to be the one scrubbing french fries out of the carpet underneath a table for ten minutes while missing out on another table and another possibly awesome tip."

WHY in the world would you put cleaning up first to begin with? More than likely, they can sit at another table that is CLEAN, because most of the time, restaurants don't have every table filled due to not being enough servers to serve every table.

"It comes down to thinking about someone else besides yourself and not thinking that the world fucking revolves around your lazy ass."

I think of someone else besides myself when I tip. Second of all, I am NOT LAZY ASS. The world doesn't revolve around anyone. Everyone is just as important as anybody else.

"not written such an ignorant comment in the first place."

HOW is my comment "IGNORANT" when THEY ARE FACTS? You cannot change FACTS!! MOST people don't pay for service they don't receive. MOST bar drink mistakes are made by servers in general. Notice, I NEVER SAID ALL.

"It's not their job to know the drinks."

YES IT IS THEIR JOB TO KNOW WTF THEY ARE SERVING!! That waitress wouldn't have handed my BLACK RUSSIAN if she KNEW what a WHITE RUSSIAN LOOKED LIKE. It's their job to KNOW what they are SERVING. One time I ordered a margarita with Jose Cuervo at Chili's. I had to SPELL the tequila for the waitress. Don't you think customers get annoyed at WASTING VALUABLE TIME SPELLING? Another time, I ordered a margarita called "El Guapo Margarita" at a local Mexican restaurant. The waitress had NEVER HEARD of it, even though it was on their drink menu on the internet and before Katrina hit, they had a drink menu, which since this was a few months after Katrina, so they didn't make a drink menu for in the store yet, but they still sold that margarita. The fact is, the waitress was working there and didn't even hear of a margarita called that and I had to SPELL IT FOR HER! Don’t you feel that's a bit PATHETIC?

Sorry, but their job is to KNOW WHAT THE HELL THEY ARE SERVING at least the most popular drinks and DEFINITELY any SPECIALITY DRINKS on the restaurant's menu. If the servers would have know their drinks, MISTAKES WOULD BE PREVENTED OF THAT NATURE and TIME WOULD BE SAVED FROM HAVING TO BABY-SIT THE WAIT STAFF!!

If I order a white russian, if you bring me a margarita, it's like DUH are you stupid? You have to know WHAT THE HELL YOU ARE SERVING SOMEONE.

"but I'm sure you've made mistakes as well."

OF COURSE, EVERYONE MAKES MISTAKES. I am just tired of servers acting like certain situations aren't EVER their fault, when it CAN BE.

"I hope your ignorant self isn't teaching our children."

If I am so "IGNORANT" than WHY I am PROVING YOU VERY WRONG, HUH? I am EXTREMELY SMARTER THAN YOU ABOUT RESTAURANT SERVICE THAN YOU WILL EVER BE! You are "IGNORANT" to want to serve drinks to customers and not know what you are serving. Don't you think that sounds a bit STUPID? Wouldn't you think a server that serves you should be knowledgeable about what they are serving at the restaurant they WORK AT? If customers felt like it was ok for servers not to be knowledgeable about bar drinks, they would't bother ordering the drinks from their server, now WOULD THEY? I feel if that's the case, I should just go up to the bartender and order my drinks from now on if my server cannot try to LEARN the drinks they serve. WHY have the server serve my bar drinks if they don't know what the hell they are doing? By you saying they don't have to know the drinks just PROVES how "IGNORANT" you are and by you saying that most people consider the extra work a server has to do to clean up shows how "IGNORANT" you are, because if most people did, servers wouldn't have this to complain about if it hardly ever happened. What a UNEDUCATED dumbass you are!!

Sarah said...

Springs, why do you keep ignoring my most standard issue here? Why do you go to restaurants? You obviously hate it so much that you have google seached the phrase ""tip at least" servers tipping" 4 times to end up at my blog! Yeah, did you know that people can see what you typed into google to come across their web sites? I mean, do you know how crazy and pathetic that is that you sought me out across the entire internet to tell me what a terrible, terrible ass hole I am for venting on my own person blog after I had had a bad day at work?

So, seriously, answer me, why oh why oh why do you go out to eat?

bittersweetheart said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
bittersweetheart said...

Wow. Well, those are your OPINIONS Springs1, not facts. Did they not teach you that in 3rd grade? How uneducated of you to pass off your opinions as facts. I respect the fact that you have an opinion, I just don't agree with it. Nor does anyone else it seems. Have a nice life, though I suspect you can't thoroughly enjoy anything without complaining.

Springs1 said...

Sarah
"Why do you go to restaurants?"

Because I LOVE to eat the GOOD FOOD and DRINK the GOOD DRINKS. I also like being out somewhere as well. I LOVE restaurants when things go well, NOT when things don't go well.

bittersweetheart
"Well, those are your OPINIONS Springs1, not facts. Did they not teach you that in 3rd grade? How uneducated of you to pass off your opinions as facts."

It's a FACT that SERVERS can be at fault for bar drink mistakes ending up at customer's tables. THAT IS A FACT. YOU CANNOT CHANGE THAT!!

You have obviously PROVED to me that it's a FACT that MOST customers DON'T think about server's clean up work AFTER they have left, otherwise, you and Sarah wouldn't be COMPLAINING ABOUT SUCH A THING IF PEOPLE DID WHAT YOU SAY "MOST" PEOPLE DO, NOW WOULD THEY?

WHY would you complain if customers did care about your clean up time after they left by tipping you higher, huh? What would be the point of complaining if "MOST" customers would tip higher when messes are left for their server to clean up. Also, as I stated before, BUSSERS clean up a lot of messes at restaurants, NOT the servers mostly. Servers usually PREBUS in most instances, NOT usually buss the entire table unless they are short on bussing staff or the restaurant doesn't have bussers. When I am at let's say Chili's, I see a BUSSER clean up a bunch of dishes and mess, NOT my server. Sure, I have seen SOME servers buss an entire table, but it's more a rarity, because most restaurants usually have bussers.

You are acting like you are in 3rd grade to not know you need to know what you are serving. It appears that the server looks like a COMPLETE IDIOT when they take your bar drink order and not know what drinks(especially any mixed drinks on the menu)the restaurant serves. The waitress that took my order for the "El Guapo Margarita" used the excuse she was only there 2 days, but neither my husband, nor I have worked ONE DAY at this restaurant, yet somehow KNEW about the drink. A FACT is supposed to know what they serve in order to serve it correctly. The waitress that brought out a clear glass with dark kahlua and vodka with no cream or milk showed me how STUPID and UNEDUCATED she was about WHAT she was serving. The FACT is, by knowing the drinks you serve from the bar, PREVENTS MISTAKES LIKE THAT. THAT'S A FACT, NOT AN OPINION!

You just don't want to admit I am RIGHT 100% and you are STUPIDLY WRONG 100%!!

I KNOW A HELL OF A LOT MORE THAN YOU DO!!! WHY CAN'T YOU ADMIT THAT WHEN I HAVE PROVEN THAT I AM RIGHT?

WHY are you COMPLAINING about customers not tipping more for clean up work that happens after the customers have left the restaurant if "MOST" people tipped more money when they leave a mess in a restaurant? You are LYING THROUGH YOUR TEETH about that one that "MOST" people think about service they don't receive to actually pay for it. ANYONE is nuts to pay for service they aren't receiving, which this is my opinion in this sentence.

"I respect the fact that you have an opinion, I just don't agree with it. Nor does anyone else it seems."

If you "RESPECTED" it, then you would ADMIT WHEN YOU ARE WRONG. Bar drinks mistakes CAN be the fault of the server. That's a FACT. The server NEEDS to be educated about bar drinks they serve in order for mistakes not to happen as much as well as inconveniencing a customer by asking them to spell something that should be pretty common knowledge such as the speciality drinks ON THE MENU or Jose Cuervo, which btw is their 2 for 1 margaritas they sell that they are made with. I wanted to substitute a margarita that was made with Sauza tequila and have them make it with Jose Cuervo. The fact that Jose Cuervo is on their DRINK MENU for some margaritas they sell shows you DO NEED to have SOME KNOWLEDGE about what you are serving. You never answered my question: WHY don't I just give my order to the bartender since you are TOO DAMN LAZY(A FACT, NOT AN OPINION) TO LEARN the drinks that you are serving?

The waitress that brought me a black russian instead of a white russian got points off her tip. WHY? She is responsible for "BRINGING IT OUT CORRECTLY" since I didn't have to taste or touch the glass to notice it was a BLACK RUSSIAN, so this was a VERY OBVIOUS MISTAKE, but she was so uneducated about mixed drinks, she had no clue what a white or black russian was supposed to LOOK LIKE. If I am giving my order to the waitress or waiter, that server is responsible for getting the correct drink to me as far as something obvious goes such as the waitress that brought me a mudslide that had ice cream in it. Turns out, she messed up by putting the order in wrong to begin with. If she would have written my order down and compared that written order to the drink, she would have noticed it was the completely wrong drink, unless she was uneducated like that other waitress with the black russian situation.

What's FACT is FACT. Fact is MOST people DON'T tip higher when they leave a mess for their server or busser to clean up, because that portion of work is NOT a PART of the CUSTOMER'S SERVICE to tip for, because if it was an OPINION, you and Sarah wouldn't be griping about it. That's a FACT! Fact that bar drinks can sometimes be the server's fault. Fact that knowing the drink menu and bar drinks you serve helps you give better service and can get you a better tip. If the waitress would have known what a black russian looked like, she would have NEVER brought that glass out, which is a FACT. She would have prevented a mistake if she would have tried to LEARN some of the drinks out there that are very popular.

It's an opinion, but it really close to a fact, that it looks bad when you have to spell something for your server.

You are VERY LAZY about learning about bar drinks. You are STUPID if you serve without knowing what the hell you are serving. The waitress deserved 12% for the white russian/black russian situation. She could have PREVENTED that by LEARNING instead of being LAZY. A customer shouldn't have to list cream or milk if they order a white russian, because that drink COMES with cream or milk.

Sarah said...

Ok, look. You have an opinion. I have an opinion. You can back up your opinion with specific instances that only strengthen your opinion. Guess what, so can I.

What is absolutley insane though, and the issue that I keep trying to address with you and you avoid at all cost, is how much energy you put into hating servers and bartenders. My god, you could fill a book with the amount of blogs and responses to those blogs that you have written. Not to mention that you obviously take the time to seek out other blogs that have written things that are contrary to your own ideas.

I can honestly say that I have never experienced so much anger and hostility from any one person in my life, and this isn't even a big issue. It's not like you have a strong belief on abortion of gay rights or the war of freeing darfur and your trying to argue with me about that.

If you don't agree with me, fine. But you don't have to demand that you know everything and also refuse to listen to any reasoning at all. I agree, you're not entirely wrong with every single thing that you say, but you refuse to listen to the many servers and bartenders who you have sought out to pick fights with. Also, who give a flying fuck? Just get over yourself already.

Take your anger, hostility and pent up energy that you put into this and apply it to something constructive. This can't actually be your passion in life.

This is the last time I will respond to your crazy.

bittersweetheart said...

I'm not going to respond to every point in your fucking novel of a response but you are wrong when you say I'm too lazy to learn about drinks. I am a server AND a bartender, I have been throughout college and continue to do so when I am not teaching during the summer. The way you get promoted to bartender is by learning drinks, learning the menu, and doing your job well. You keep talking yourself in circles insisting that your word is divine. You are not the fucking be all and end all on the restaurant business. I've already said at least once that everyone makes mistakes, servers, bartenders, bussers, managers, owners, everyone in the restaurant business. And just so we're clear, I've never worked at a restaurant where I didn't have to bus my own tables. I thank my lucky stars I haven't had to wait on someone as ignorant and rude as yourself. I've had a couple tables who were obviously looking for freebies and would complain about ridiculous things that didn't happen, and that's sad. But never someone as rude and hateful as you. You can preach all you want, insist all you want that your word is the last word and the right word but I think everyone who's read or responded to this post disagrees with you on most of what you've said. Please find something more constructive to do with your energy besides seeking out blogs to write novels on. I tip at least 25% to everyone regardless of their service (unless they are a sourpuss and obviously not putting forth effort) because I know that sometimes people have bad days. I know that that server makes about $2 an hour and I don't know what her personal life is like, but I'd hate to think I was a cheapskate or petty to a single mom struggling to support her kids after her kids' father died or left her, or a college student who is struggling to pay student loans and get an education that will get him/her a better job so they don't have to deal with assholes like you everday. I've been there, its obvious your "donut shop experience" hasn't put you in those shoes, and if you can afford to eat out every weekend then you've not been in those situations. Appreciate what you have and where you are, and pay it forward.

Springs1 said...

sarah
"It's not like you have a strong belief on abortion of gay rights or the war of freeing darfur and your trying to argue with me about that."

Since those things do NOT alter my life in ANY WAY, SHAPE, OR FORM, I honestly could care less. I feel abortion should not happen, but in certain instances such as rape, I feel it should be an option for the mother since it was a forced situation. Gay rights I really don't care about. I don't care for gays, but it really doesn't alter my life, so that's not a big deal either. I have no clue what a "the war of freeing darfur" is nor do I care. Restaurant service DOES alter my life EVERY WEEKEND, which I do make a conscious choice to go out to eat, so no one is making me. I enjoy restaurant food as well as bar drinks and just like going out at a restaurant. I just don't care for the bad service we have had sometimes is all.

"I agree, you're not entirely wrong with every single thing that you say, but you refuse to listen to the many servers and bartenders who you have sought out to pick fights with."

In your opinion, what am I wrong about then since you couldn't admit that I was entirely right?

bittersweetheart
"but you are wrong when you say I'm too lazy to learn about drinks. I am a server AND a bartender, I have been throughout college and continue to do so when I am not teaching during the summer. The way you get promoted to bartender is by learning drinks, learning the menu, and doing your job well."

If you feel that way, then WHY in the world did you say this: "It's not their job to know the drinks?" You are CONTRADICTING YOUR OWN WORDS by saying you aren't too lazy to learn about the drinks. The server SHOULD have some knowledge about what drinks they are bringing to the table. I truly don't get WHY you said "It's not their job to know the drinks" if you feel you should learn the drinks? I don't get you?

"I thank my lucky stars I haven't had to wait on someone as ignorant and rude as yourself."

I am NOT rude. I tell my servers "Thank you" when they bring me things and I am VERY NICE as well as WELL LIKED with the restaurants we regularly frequent, because the servers know we will tip 25% or higher if we get WONDERFUL service.

'I've had a couple tables who were obviously looking for freebies and would complain about ridiculous things that didn't happen, and that's sad."

I am NOT like that at all. If anything, I would rather pay for everything all the time than have things that would go wrong. I go out to eat to have fun and enjoy myself, not to get things forgotten and wrong. I know no one is perfect, including myself, but it does suck when bad service happens to you.

"I think everyone who's read or responded to this post disagrees with you on most of what you've said."

Sarah didn't, just look: "I agree, you're not entirely wrong with every single thing that you say,", which she is the person that wrote the blog in the first place.

You aren't even disagreeing with me by saying you aren't too lazy to learn the drinks. You are agreeing with me by saying such a thing. My server's job is to know the drink menu and to know a lot of the alcohol the restaurant sells as well as mixed drink names.

"I tip at least 25% to everyone regardless of their service (unless they are a sourpuss and obviously not putting forth effort) because I know that sometimes people have bad days. I know that that server makes about $2 an hour and I don't know what her personal life is like, but I'd hate to think I was a cheapskate or petty to a single mom struggling to support her kids after her kids' father died or left her, or a college student who is struggling to pay student loans and get an education that will get him/her a better job so they don't have to deal with assholes like you everday."

WHY do you care about the server's PERSONAL LIFE? They sure don't care about yours. I could care less what kind of situation they put themselves into. If they are a single mother, is it because they had sex with all kind of guys or unprotected that they could have easily prevented their situation or is it because their boyfriend or husband died or left them? I waited until I was 25yrs old(I am 31yrs old now) to have sexual intercourse so I wouldn't be in a single mother situation. My point is, some people make their OWN problems in life and I don't feel sorry for the people that just have sex with all kind of people or the people that don't use protection.

What does their personal life have to do with their service in a restaurant? One has absolutely nothing to do with each other. The servers in college that are struggling to pay loans is a personal problem. This has NOTHING to do with restaurant service. I don’t see many servers caring about what customers do for a living or if we are struggling. If anything, I see more blogs than I can count saying "If you can't afford to tip, you can't afford to go out to eat." So, if anything, the servers are thinking about just THEIR MONEY ONLY and NOT the CUSTOMER'S MONEY. See how SELFISH a lot of servers are to write that. Just look it up in google search "If you can't afford to tip" and you'll get many people, mostly servers more than likely, that say that type of thing. I actually agree with the statement completely, but the tip has to be EARNED. It's not their right to at least 15% unless I am in a large party or using a coupon that requires me to tip a certain percentage. At least you admit you wouldn’t tip 25% for a server not putting forth any effort. 25% should be EARNED, NOT A RIGHT. I feel they don't care about if I have money problems, so WHY should we CARE about THEIRS? Caring is a 2-way street, NOT just a ONE-WAY street that you feel it should be. BTW, I am NOT an asshole. I am a NICE person. You just don't know me. You are just mad because I am telling you all the TRUTH.

bittersweetheart said...

I guess I'm just a more caring person who puts herself in others' shoes and doesn't think the world revolves around me. Sarah said she didn't disagree with every single thing you said, but it sure did seem like she disagreed with most of it. And l don't think it's the servers JOB to know the drinks, but if they want to become a bartender, they tend to try and learn quickly. I'm not contradicting myself, you're putting words in my mouth. You're also picking and choosing my words. Single mothers aren't only comprised of girls who hop in the sack without condoms. They're also girls whose husbands may have died, whether on the job or in a car accident or whatnot. Or they're girls whose husbands or boyfriends have left them. You do not have to be married to choose to have a baby. Good for you, you waited til 25, but I suspect it wasn't entirely by choice. I'd imagine its hard to want to sleep with someone who has a stick up her ass all the time.

Becs said...

I think its a little sad that she only cares about issues that affect her directly. That says a lot about someone's character.

Springs1 said...

bittersweetheart
"And l don't think it's the servers JOB to know the drinks."

When you get an unknowledgeable server and gets your drink order wrong, then you will see how it FEELS to be that customer that has to receive a mistake that COULD have been EASILY PREVENTED if the server would have chosen to try to LEARN what she or he is serving. When you have to SPELL tequilas that are IN the Chili's menu(which I have had to spell Tres Generationes, which is a Sauza tequila in Chili's drink menu, because the UNEDUCATED waitress decided to be LAZY ASS and not LEARN what is in the DRINK MENU that she is SERVING CUSTOMERS, then you have just wasted time for everyone when your server SHOULD have KNOWN what you were talking about. You will see how STUPID these servers appear to the customers not KNOWING what they serve if you ever experience it first hand. Obviously, you have never experienced this situation as a customer, otherwise, you would know that servers need to know what they serve. It PREVENTS SOME MISTAKES. It would have prevented that waitress bringing me a black russian in a clear glass if she would have known what drinks look like and what their names are. They DO NEED TO KNOW THE DRINKS to make a good tip. I usually tip for really good service 25% and higher. That waitress received 12%. Not only did I have a 10 minute wait to get the WRONG DRINK, but then I had to wait another 5 or so minutes just to get my correct drink all because she was TOO STUPID AND LAZY ASS to LEARN what she was serving people.

They wouldn't be SERVING the drinks if it wasn't their job. Don't you get that? Don't you think a server should know the difference in what a black russian looks like vs. a white russian? A clear glass with very brown liquid is definately NOT a white russian. A white russian has some cream or milk in it. That should be something a server should know, so when they take the order, they can realize that the customer doesn't have to list EVERY INGREDIENT. All I did was say "A white russian made with kahlua and absolute vodka." The waitress interpreted that I was listing all the ingredients in the drink. That's how UNEDUCATED she was. WHY can't you understand you need to know what you have in your hands that you are HANDING the customer? You could be grabbing the wrong drink from the bar if you don't know what you are serving. You could ring up the wrong thing or put in the wrong drink order. WHY do you want servers to make mistakes like what has happened to me? WHY wouldn't you want them to be able to KNOW what the hell they are taking to the table if it is correct or not? Wouldn't you want to have YOUR drink correct the VERY FIRST TIME AROUND? This is all about LAZINESS that servers shouldn't take the time and effort to LEARN things about the drinks they serve. Wouldn't you want a GOOD TIP? WHY would you want to make a mistake if you wouldn't have to? That waitress that served me a black russian could have completely PREVENTED bringing me the wrong drink, because she probably put in the order wrong to begin with or told the bartender wrong. Let's say if the bartender was that stupid, then she doesn't have to be. SHE could have picked up on that it was the wrong drink, but she didn't, she brought a black russian to me and not a white russian as I had ordered. I have ordered like this for years and NEVER ONCE got a black russian, because the servers were EDUCATED ENOUGHT TO KNOW WHAT I WAS ORDERING.

ANSWER THIS QUESTION ONE MORE TIME: WHY DON'T I GIVE MY DRINK ORDER TO THE BARTENDER INSTEAD OF MY SERVER, BECAUSE THAT SERVER HAS NO CLUE WHAT I AM ORDERING, SO THERE'S A GOOD CHANCE THEY CAN GET IT WRONG? WHY give my order to MY SERVER if the server doesn't KNOW what the hell I am ordering? I might as well not be able to order from my server then. The server taking the bar drink orders is USELESS without any KNOWLEDGE of the bar drinks. The server might get some orders correct by blind luck, but they probably will make a lot of mistakes since they are too LAZY to TAKE THE EFFORT TO LEARN what they hand people.

If you agree that a server should be able to answer a question about the food menu items, then WHY not the bar drinks? I feel if the server doesn't know let's say that cheese fries comes with ranch on the menu, they need to either learn the menu or take the menu and compare that with the food in the kitchen BEFORE bringing it out to the customer without the ranch. Don't you think a server should KNOW what they are SERVING YOU? We had a waitress at Denny's one time serve us cheese fries without the ranch that it came with. There was a picture menu on our table as well as it was listed on the regular menu. SHE brought the cheese fries out and my husband had reminded her about that ranch CAME with the food. Now don't you think that if she would have either known the menu or compared that menu with the food, she wouldn't have looked so STUPID and LAZY? She also would have saved herself an extra trip and time as well. She also would have received a higher tip instead of a lowered one. KNOWING what you serve, whether it would be the food or alcohol is VERY IMPORTANT in preventing some mistakes and getting better tips.

"I'm not contradicting myself, you're putting words in my mouth. You're also picking and choosing my words."

I don't get it then, WHY did you even mention that you learned the drinks to be a bartender then? What does that have to do with anything? I just don't get it?

"They're also girls whose husbands may have died, whether on the job or in a car accident or whatnot. Or they're girls whose husbands or boyfriends have left them. You do not have to be married to choose to have a baby."

That is very true, but still, you don't care about your CUSTOMER'S MONEY problems, am I right? If you don't, then WHY should other people care about yours? If the server sucks, I don't care what situation they are in, that's their life and their problem, NOT MINE. They can get another job that pays hourly if they please instead of being a server basically almost soley dependent on customers for their income.

You act like customers are ONLY supposed to care about their SERVER'S MONEY ONLY. Caring is a 2-WAY street, NOT just a ONE WAY street. If you don't care about if I had money problems, WHY should I care if you do? I treat you EXACTLY THE WAY YOU TREAT ME. What's FAIR IS FAIR. You are acting VERY UNFAIR by ONLY thinking about the server's money problems. WHAT ABOUT SOME CUSTOMERS that have money problems? WHY is somehow the server's money problems more important than other people's money problems according to you that we should as customers think about their money problems? It's not like the servers are thinking about if we have any money problems. People do go out to eat even if they are broke just so you know.

"but I suspect it wasn't entirely by choice."

It was ENTIRELY by choice. In high school, I had a boyfriend that wrote "Put out or get out." I chose to get out and finish high school instead of be a pregnant teenager. In college, I had a boyfriend, which we did everything BUT sexual intercourse. That relationship lasted a little over 3yrs until he left the country to pursue another career. I met some guys on the internet, which some of them did want just sex. So I DID have plenty of opportunities.

bittersweetheart said...

Look, you keep spitting out the same thing over and over. A 19 year old waitress is not going to have the same bartending knowledge as another older server. If you want to go to the bartender to make sure your drink is right, by all means, go ahead. I do care about other people besides myself. I care about the customer's experience and I try to be the best server/bartender I can be. I talk to my customers, especially my regulars, I know who they are and background about them. So yeah, it is a two way street, I travel both ways.

Good for you, you turned down sex until you were 25. Exactly what does that have to do with this besides it's probably the reason you're so uptight?

This whole thing is ridiculous and I can't believe you seek people out to do this to. Sarah was venting about an experience she had at her new job. I'm willing to bet she wasn't trying to provoke unhappy, uptight, restaurant-nazi bitches like you to write novels in her comments.
I really hope someone goes all "Waiting" on your ass someday. You deserve it.

Done.

Springs1 said...

bittersweetheart
"A 19 year old waitress is not going to have the same bartending knowledge as another older server."

They COULD if they TRIED TO LEARN. They also could if they grew up in an alcoholic family or started drinking at an early age.

"I care about the customer's experience and I try to be the best server/bartender I can be. I talk to my customers, especially my regulars, I know who they are and background about them. So yeah, it is a two way street, I travel both ways."

Caring about customer's experiences has NOTHING to do with caring about some customer's money problems, NOT AT ALL. So, NO, it's NOT a 2-way street. You haven't admitted you care about their money problems if they can't tip you as well or at all. All you care about is the SERVER'S MONEY, NOT the CUSTOMER'S MONEY. Customer's dining experiences have NOTHING at all to do with the server caring about the customer's money. Would you feel it's ok for a customer not to tip you because they have money problems? I bet your answer is no, but yet, you feel us customers have to care about their server's money problems. That's NOT a 2-way street, it's a ONE way street.

"I really hope someone goes all "Waiting" on your ass someday. You deserve it."

I really hope someone stiffs you, because YOU DESERVE IT. You ONLY CARE ABOUT YOUR MONEY. You don't care about your customer's money problems.

bittersweetheart said...

Well that all goes back to you can't afford to eat out if you can't afford to tip. If your money problems are so bad you should be shopping at Aldi and making your own food.

And how assinine for you to say that a 19 yr old would be better experienced if she was an alcoholic or came from an alcoholic family. I was ready to quit this stupid conversation but that one pissed me off. How incredibly self-centered of you to prefer a young server from an alcoholic background just so you can have the correct drink at dinner.

I've never been stiffed because I've never deserved it. I am done with this assinine conversation.

Springs1 said...

bittersweetheart
"If your money problems are so bad you should be shopping at Aldi and making your own food."

You call me selfish and self-centered, look at YOURSELF. See, you don't care about your customer's money, so WHY should they care about yours? If you did, you'd be ok with someone not tipping you, because customers have money problems too, not just servers. You seem to feel we should ONLY think about the poor server's bad life. What about the customer's money problems? WHY don't they matter to you? Yet, you try to give this sorry ass sob story about if the server was a single mother or had school loans for college.

I just don't get WHY do you think customers should feel sorry for their server's personal problems, yet, our servers could care less about our money problems if we can't tip them? Customers don't give a rat's ass about their server's personal life unless they are a friend, which 90% of the time, servers aren't their customer's friends unless they are regular customers, which even then, most of the time customers aren't good friends with their servers.

WHO CARES if the server is a single mother? WHY do you feel we should have personal feelings beyond the dining experience for these people that serve us? They sure as hell don't care about US customer's personal problems. WHO CARES if the server has to pay back a school loan without their parents help? That is their own problem. That in-of-itself has NOTHING to do with restaurant service. I could care LESS what these servers lives are like outside the restaurant, just as even YOU could care less about your customer's lives outside the restaurant, unless they are your friends. Telling me that sob story is pathetic. WHO CARES WHAT KIND OF MONEY PROBLEMS THE SERVER HAS? If the server gives me crappy service, they will get a crappy tip. If the server is wonderful, they will receive 25% or higher tip. It's all about EFFORT and CARING to get a good tip.

"And how assinine for you to say that a 19 yr old would be better experienced if she was an alcoholic or came from an alcoholic family. I was ready to quit this stupid conversation but that one pissed me off. How incredibly self-centered of you to prefer a young server from an alcoholic background just so you can have the correct drink at dinner."

First off, it's NOT "ASSINE" to want a GOOD SERVER. Second of all, it's NOT self-centered to want your order correct. Thirdly, it's actually more self-centered of the lazy server that doesn't take the EFFORT AND TIME TO LEARN the drinks she or he serves. The server is only thinking about how much work is it for them to learn all of that instead of thinking about their customer's service and time. A caring server that wouldn't be self-centered would take the time and effort to learn everything they serve their customers so they CAN get the orders correct as much as possible without those silly mistakes such as the black russian situation. If that waitress would have not been so SELF-CENTERED in ONLY thinking about HERSELF, she wouldn't have brought out my drink wrong.

ANYONE would rather have a correct drink than to get the wrong drink in their service, even yourself included.

Anonymous said...

I want to rip off that persons fingers so they cant type fucking stupid 10 page rants..jesus..i feel sorry for her husband.