March Forth!!

It's been a long while since I've written an actual post. You know, one that lets you know how shit is going down in my neck of the woods, because, I'm sure you're just on the edge of your seats waiting to find out.

So, as I mentioned before, things haven't been so great with my work situation and money was becoming an issue, so I started applying for a lot of service industry jobs about a month ago and now I have three jobs.

Job number one. My original producer job, but only working with my current clients on my own time. No longer coming into the office to do busy work for minimal pay.

Job number two. Part time at Pier 1. I applied for this job back in May when I realized that people don't line up to hand you important jobs (or any job) when you graduate. They called me while I was in the middle of applying for jobs a few weeks ago to say "I know you applied a long while ago, but are you still looking?" Talk about timing! I was, so I accepted. Part time was better than no time as far as I'm concerned. But more on Pier 1 and why I decided to keep this job after getting job number 3 later.

Job number three. Full time at a local jacksonville restaurant. To keep from full self disclosure I will refrain from naming it but I will say that it is an upscale casual restaurant that has it's own brewery.

And an extensive 7 day training program.

Apparently this place is the shit to work for. So much so that they, unlike most restaurants that can train over 100 servers a year, only has to train about 15 a year to fill there 40 person staff. Seriously. I get full benefits. And a 401K plan. And paid vacation. And I'm a server.

So, training started yesterday. We're a class of 7 people. One guy, me and 5 blond, under 21, college girls. Let me say, I'm not at all threatened by skinny blond girls. Hello, was in a sorority for 4 years. I'm not really threatened by anyone at this point, I'm just saying that I don't really like to introduce my totally weird self to anyone until I've known them for at least 2 days. So, how do I make my very very very first impression with these people? Well, it went a little something like this:

The seven of us are sitting around a table with the general manager. We haven't even had a chance to introduce ourselves when the manager passes around the training schedule. "Is this ok for everyone?" he wants to know. The one guys makes a hesitant "uhh yeeeaaahhh, i guess" noise about Tuesday. The manager wants to know. Out with it. Tell me why Tuesday could be a problem. "It's not a problem, per say...it's just that...well...tomorrows my birthda..."

The poor dude doesn't even finish the word "birthday" before I scream...literally scream...

"OH MY GOD! YOU HAVE THE BEST BIRTHDAY EVER!!!"

Everyone turns to me and stares.

I sink as deep into my chair as I can when I've realized that I've gone and revealed my total dorky nerdy weird self.

"Um...it's the only day of the year that's a command..."

My manager answers in a I get it, but that's really stupid tone of voice, "Oh. March forth."

The birthday boy turns to me, trying to be nice and make me feel less like an idiot, "How bout that? Never heard that before in my life!"

But the 5 blond, under 21, college girls? They all looked at me like I had just tried to explain to them the theory of relativity in Cantonese.

"huh?" "what?" "I don't get it?"

These words bounced off every wall of the restaurant.

Quick. I must redeem myself. Seriously, I don't care if people think I'm strange. I am strange. Once people know me and can appreciate me I'm not afraid to let my freak flag fly, but right now, at this first impression moment, for some reason I was desperate to make myself seem cooler.

My brain tries to correct what my mouth has done and thinks "let them know you were in a sorority, let them know you were in college, let them know this was just some dumb stupid inside joke between you and your sorority sisters."

Brilliant! I tell myself.

What comes out of my mouth sounds like this:
"Well...see...my dad...um...he tells really cheesy jokes...and um...when I was in college...see...in my sorority...um...we liked my dads cheesy jokes...and...um...nevermind."

I hate when I can't rescue myself with my charm and wit.

Really though? Joke = totally on them. See, at this restaurant that brews 6 of its own beers, we are aloud to drink beer at every staff meeting before each shift, whenever our shift ends, etc. It's totally encouraged because they want us to like the beer and know the beer so we can successfully sell it to the guest.
In fact, during our training, every day we try about 15 (!!!!) items from the menu and then have to drink/discuss each of the beers.

Oh wait, unless you're under 21. Then you just get to watch me and the guy drink 6 beers, get sloshed, and get paid for it. Every. Day. This. Week.

March forth, bitches.