Monday, March 2, 2009

Getting a life, here I'll show you how

So the other night Jeff and I went to Starbucks to hang out like the yuppies that we are*.

It was packed and not many seating options to choose from so I picked a little 2 seater thing in the back corner. My back was facing the wall which meant I was looking out amongst the crowd like I was Queen 'Bucks and these were all of my coffee constituency. The table sitting directly in front of me was three older ladies - mid 50's probably - gabbing away like friends do. Totally done up to the T's and kind of evil looking. So one of the ladies, the leader I gathered, was sitting facing me, and, as will happen when in a small, loud, crowded building, our eyes met a few times while we were both engaged in conversation with out parties. (i.e. - Jeff for me, Cruella Devil and Ursela for her). This didn't strike me in any fashion because peoples eyes meet when they are scoping rooms, but then with huge arm gestures, Cinderella's Evil Step Mother started pointing at me and saying "No really! She is talking about us talking about her. Right. Now. She just caught me. But she was totally talking about us, and now she is talking about us talking about her!" And like clock work, Ursula craned her neck around and eagerly agreed with E.S.M.

"Oh my god! You're right! She is totally talking about us!" and then proceeded to whip her neck around 3 or 4 more times.

Now, unless they own moving van companies, are currently living with Jeff's parents for the next few weeks, or have some kind of insight on the casting of New Moon (Jeff hates me), I'm certain we wern't talking about them in the least bit.

And of course I didn't say anything to Jeff until after they got up to leave because I certainly didn't want to actually give them the satisfaction of hearing me talk about them, but thats what they did until they left - talk about me talking about know...wasn't actually happening.

I sure am glad that my insecurities aren't half that degree and I'm only half their age.

and prettier.

now I'm talking about you, bitches.

*Read, we are flat broke and Jeff got a major Starbucks gift card for his birthday so we can go get out of the house and not spend a dime.


JQ said...


Sad, aging ladies that reek of eu d' desperate.

Nothing sadder, really. (except when kittens and puppies grow up.)

Your Ill-fitting Overcoat said...

Oh my god, that is the saddest thing I have ever heard. Please do not let me have such lame friends when I'm 50.

- Laurie

Breeny said...

If I get anywhere near that at any age... you have full permission to whip me back into shape-- Edward-James fighting sequence style, of course.