Begin in Canada - try the La Batt Blue. Say "Ay" a lot. A lot, a lot.
Move on to the United Kingdom. I suggest this early on in your trip to go with a nice Strongbow, but if you're feeling adventurous, give a Guinness a go. And then shove yourself in a phone booth.
France = Grand Marnier Orange slushies, berets and pastries! Zut Alors!
While in Morocco you'll come up against a peculiar occurrence where you don't quite believe that their drink options are true to the region. I hate to say it, but you'll come across it again. I mean, I don't know - daiquiris may have originated in the northern regions of Africa but I'd put my money on it being created on a cruise ship.
While in Morocco, do try the fez hats on for size but don't be afraid to explore deep into the alleys. You may find a hidden room with a certain Arabian cartoon motif painted on the walls with a certain song playing on repeat...yes...you may find a whole new world...
To find the Sake bombs in Japan you have to travel through every store (they're connected) and go to the very back cash register. (PS, You can tell we're in Japan because of the exit sign above my head) That's racial sensitivity at its finest.
*The next day at the Magic Kingdom, Brittany and I were looking at an off beat looking Mickey Mouse Plush toy. He was just a big circle with all of his features filled in. A woman who worked in the store approached us to say "I'm pretty sure the orientals made this one. I mean, they do have those round faces"
AHH!! MOTHER LAND!! Enjoy your Bud Light. Do not even dare think about ordering a Sam Adams. What the fuck is wrong with you. Sam Adams taste like shit. Tell people that. You're at the half way point so you should be feeling tipsy enough to tell strangers that. You should also be tipsy enough to confuse a puerto rican woman dressed like a revolutionary war era american with a slave.
Germany = drink any alcohol, duh.
When traveling around the world you may come across some no mans land. They might call themselves the Outpost. It doesn't make any sense at all. It's a waste of space and there has got to be another country that Epcot could shove in here. But the bottom line is there is no booze. Theoretically it represents the struggles it takes to get into Communist China...
...Where they also have questionable signature cocktails. I'm just saying - while on the one hand the "Canto-loopey" and "Mango Ginger-rita" sound authentic, on the other hand they dont at all. To make up for it, become dictator of all your friends. Make them feel oppressed.
Norway! Be a viking. Rape and Pillage. You're so damn close. You are a viking. Get that one Norwegian beer they have. By this point you wont care what it taste like. Just go! Go! Go! Get to that finish line!
HOLA!! WELCOME TO MEXICO!! ENJOY YOUR MARGARITAS AND THEN ADIOS AMIGOS! YOU HAVE COMPLETED THE CHALLENGE OF DRINKING IN EVERY COUNTRY IN EPCOT!
You should look roughly like this when you're done:
2 comments:
I honestly could not have put it any better. Storytelling WIN.
Not very much makes me happier than this post. Jealous that I wasn't there. I love it.
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