Free at last

Do you remember this story - here? Where I tried to quit my job and my boss wouldn't let me.

I know. no one understands it. I don't understand it that much myself, to be honest. I had haggled her down to one day a week and started a new job on the other days and am so happy there...and so is, ahem, my bank account.

But obviously I didn't care what happened at the one day a week job because, you know, I DIDN'T WANT TO WORK THERE ANYMORE.

She crossed a line on Monday. She tried to get her daughter to make appointments at my other spa to see if I was actually having success there because I wouldn't come into her spa on Monday morning to give her daughter a facial. Seriously.

Oh yeah, that one day a week thing was on Fridays, not Mondays. But I wouldn't have come in on Friday to do it either.

So all day Monday I kept chanting a mantra in my head. When I was a wee teenager trying to figure out college life - including how to handle employment - a wise man told me
"Never underestimate the power of quitting your job."*, **

So I quit. No pushing me around this time. I wouldn't take no for an answer. And I didn't. And I sure do feel a lot better about Fridays now.

*This man was my employer

** If you're reading this right now, its also possible that this man was your husband. Especially if you're this person.

Qutting your job: a story in metaphore

We need to talk.
I'm not sure I'm happy here - I'm pretty sure you feel the same way. I'm not saying I'm leaving but I think you should know that I'm not happy.
You're too sensitive. You're too naive to handle this. That's why you're backing out. I don't want you to go. And anyway...you're nothing with out me. I'm all you've got.
I'll think about it.
******
I've thought about it. I've got to get out now before we're too entrenched together. We're already getting caught up here and I know we're not right for each other. We aren't good for each other. It's best to do this now. You'll see.
I see. And I agree. I want you to stay but if you aren't getting what you need then go. Is there someone else?
No one else.
What are you going to do? Are you sure there is no one else?
I don't know what I'm gonna do, but I'll be fine - don't worry about me.
******

Now I've been doing the thinking. I want you to know that its totally fine that you're leaving but I need to say a few things - I'm hurt.
It's not like this is easy.
I'm disappointed.
Things didn't work out - it happens. I'm ending it while we're still fresh enough to get out unscathed.
I invested a lot into you.
But why? I didn't know you were doing that. I would have told you not to...you moved too fast.
You made promises to me.
We both made promises to each other.
You said I was what you wanted.
You were what I thought I wanted.
Exactly. You don't know anything. What are you going to do without me?
I know what I want now.
Is there someone else?
no.
There's someone else.
no.
Who is she?
yes. there is someone else. But thats not why I'm leaving. I'd leave even if there wasn't.
******

Go, and be with her. I think you'll be perfect together. She's desperate. I totally get why you want to go to her. She's desperate. But can you stay with me? You know...like...be with her but also...sometimes...you can be with me? I'd be ok with that. She's the desperate one so you can call the shots with her.
I, um, well...
Great. Then that's what we'll do. And when you've had enough of her you can come crawling back here to me. I'll be here. Disappointed and hurt but you'll see. You don't know anything. Great.


...To be continued...

Attention All Customers:

This is a notice that I, Sarah, will be relocating soon to Tampa.

Is this a new development?
No. This is something that I have been planning for some time but have waited to tell you about because, well, I don't know. (See: Lazy)

When will the move take place?
Middle of June

Why are you moving back to Tampa?
I will be going to spa therapy school to become a licenced esthetician and massage therapist. Think happy and zin like all of the time. Also, think popping black heads out of peoples faces and poking them incessantly with little instruments of torture while they wince in pain. If you are like me, these are happy and zin like thoughts.

Where will you be living?
Whoa there! Lets not get to personal here! I mean...yes...I will be living with my parents for 9 months.

Nine Months? Are you pregnant?
Seriously, people keep asking me this. I will continue to kick you.

If Jeff moving with you?
No.

Won't you miss him?
Terribly, but it's part of the bigger plan, and we'll only be 3 hours away from each other.

What does this mean for me, your loyal reader?
Not much, there will be no rise in fees and there should only be a slight lapse in service while I relocate. The subject of my blogs might change focus slightly, possibly having more to do with my kooky mom or the fat lady with herpes who wanted me to wax her hoo hoo, but it's hard to say because, well, it hasn't happened yet.

Thank you for your support and understanding and we look forward to continuing our business with you for years to come!

How to Tip at a Restaurant: Etiquette and Advice From a Server

Going out to eat is a privilege. It is a break from the mundane and allows you to be waited on, having all of your reasonable request fulfilled while a meal is made specially for you so you don't have to dirty your kitchen, make the food or even stand up to get it. We bring it to you.
We want you to be happy with your dining experience.
We want you to leave with a full belly and a happy heart after experiencing a delicious meal and laughter with friends or family.

This can't always happen, but we'll always try.

Sometimes you're in a bad mood, so there's nothing we can do to satisfy you. Sometimes the restaurant is really busy and it might take 25 minutes for you to get your dinner. Sometimes your server will screw stuff up because they're human. Sometimes the kitchen will screw things up for the same reason. Sometimes you'll order incorrectly or order something and not like it.

These are the risks you take when you go out to eat at a restaurant.

With that being said, servers make about 3 dollars an hour on average. 3 dollars. And on average we work about 4 hours a shift. That's 12 dollars a shift that goes onto a paycheck. How could anyone possibly survive on this kind of money? Because of you, my dear friends. It's your tips that make up our salaries. We totally and completely depend on you. This is why we'll always try to give you a great experience.

What is deemed as an acceptable tip is 15 - 20%. Anything more is considered exemplary, anything less is considered insulting. I've even got an easy trick for you; say your bill is $27.54. Count one dollar for every 5 dollars, rounding down. A 5 dollar tip is acceptable for that size bill.

Most people know this, but let me throw in some examples so, if you happen to be in the following situations, you can feel prepared.

Children: Children are always welcome. They are precious and adorable. Also, their meals cost 3 dollars a plate, and most of that food, as well as the crayons and any bit of anything they can get their hands on ends up on the floor stomped deep into the carpet for your server to clean up after you leave. It is not expected that you clean up after your children at a restaurant. Again, this is one of the luxuries of eating out. However, you should tip at least 25% knowing that your server will be on the ground trying to dig up pieces of french fries and cracker crumbs out of the carpet so she can get sat again.

Insisting on Taking the Bill: "Hey, when you come back, go ahead and bring the check. I'm gonna pay for it all". I cringe when I hear these words. 70% of the time the person who has offered to pay has not realized that everyone ordered a meal costing at least 15 dollars, had a few beers, and did you forget about that appetizer you got? They offer to pay because they don't think 4 people can do that much damage. But then they get the bill for $84.63 and suddenly they go into panic mode. This is more than they expected to pay. To make up for it, they leave a 5 dollar tip. Don't offer to pay for the entire bill unless you can afford to leave an acceptable tip. The larger the party, the worse the percentage is for the servers.
Side note: 5 dollars is not an acceptable tip unless your bill is 25 dollars, get over this 5 dollar thing!

Discounts: You got a discount on your bill for whatever reason.
Tip for the amount that your bill would have been without the discount.

Not Leaving a good Tip for you Server because:
You had to wait long to be seated.
Your food wasn't good.
Your drink from the bar was wrong.
Your blind date is an ass hole.
You're an ass hole.
These things have nothing to do with your server, please do not take it out on her by way of her tip because whatever your mad about that had nothing to do with her, does not get rectified. Don't shoot the messenger, ya know?

Going out to eat is a privilege. If you can not commit at least 15% of your bill in tip form for your server, don't go out to eat. It's that simple.

And look, if your server calls you fat or tells your husband that he can do better than you or spits in your food or whatever; don't just leave them a shitty tip, tell their managers or punch them in the face. But we work our asses off to provide for you and all we ask in return is a reasonable tip. We even leave a little line on your credit card receipt for you to fill it out.

March Forth!!

It's been a long while since I've written an actual post. You know, one that lets you know how shit is going down in my neck of the woods, because, I'm sure you're just on the edge of your seats waiting to find out.

So, as I mentioned before, things haven't been so great with my work situation and money was becoming an issue, so I started applying for a lot of service industry jobs about a month ago and now I have three jobs.

Job number one. My original producer job, but only working with my current clients on my own time. No longer coming into the office to do busy work for minimal pay.

Job number two. Part time at Pier 1. I applied for this job back in May when I realized that people don't line up to hand you important jobs (or any job) when you graduate. They called me while I was in the middle of applying for jobs a few weeks ago to say "I know you applied a long while ago, but are you still looking?" Talk about timing! I was, so I accepted. Part time was better than no time as far as I'm concerned. But more on Pier 1 and why I decided to keep this job after getting job number 3 later.

Job number three. Full time at a local jacksonville restaurant. To keep from full self disclosure I will refrain from naming it but I will say that it is an upscale casual restaurant that has it's own brewery.

And an extensive 7 day training program.

Apparently this place is the shit to work for. So much so that they, unlike most restaurants that can train over 100 servers a year, only has to train about 15 a year to fill there 40 person staff. Seriously. I get full benefits. And a 401K plan. And paid vacation. And I'm a server.

So, training started yesterday. We're a class of 7 people. One guy, me and 5 blond, under 21, college girls. Let me say, I'm not at all threatened by skinny blond girls. Hello, was in a sorority for 4 years. I'm not really threatened by anyone at this point, I'm just saying that I don't really like to introduce my totally weird self to anyone until I've known them for at least 2 days. So, how do I make my very very very first impression with these people? Well, it went a little something like this:

The seven of us are sitting around a table with the general manager. We haven't even had a chance to introduce ourselves when the manager passes around the training schedule. "Is this ok for everyone?" he wants to know. The one guys makes a hesitant "uhh yeeeaaahhh, i guess" noise about Tuesday. The manager wants to know. Out with it. Tell me why Tuesday could be a problem. "It's not a problem, per say...it's just that...well...tomorrows my birthda..."

The poor dude doesn't even finish the word "birthday" before I scream...literally scream...

"OH MY GOD! YOU HAVE THE BEST BIRTHDAY EVER!!!"

Everyone turns to me and stares.

I sink as deep into my chair as I can when I've realized that I've gone and revealed my total dorky nerdy weird self.

"Um...it's the only day of the year that's a command..."

My manager answers in a I get it, but that's really stupid tone of voice, "Oh. March forth."

The birthday boy turns to me, trying to be nice and make me feel less like an idiot, "How bout that? Never heard that before in my life!"

But the 5 blond, under 21, college girls? They all looked at me like I had just tried to explain to them the theory of relativity in Cantonese.

"huh?" "what?" "I don't get it?"

These words bounced off every wall of the restaurant.

Quick. I must redeem myself. Seriously, I don't care if people think I'm strange. I am strange. Once people know me and can appreciate me I'm not afraid to let my freak flag fly, but right now, at this first impression moment, for some reason I was desperate to make myself seem cooler.

My brain tries to correct what my mouth has done and thinks "let them know you were in a sorority, let them know you were in college, let them know this was just some dumb stupid inside joke between you and your sorority sisters."

Brilliant! I tell myself.

What comes out of my mouth sounds like this:
"Well...see...my dad...um...he tells really cheesy jokes...and um...when I was in college...see...in my sorority...um...we liked my dads cheesy jokes...and...um...nevermind."

I hate when I can't rescue myself with my charm and wit.

Really though? Joke = totally on them. See, at this restaurant that brews 6 of its own beers, we are aloud to drink beer at every staff meeting before each shift, whenever our shift ends, etc. It's totally encouraged because they want us to like the beer and know the beer so we can successfully sell it to the guest.
In fact, during our training, every day we try about 15 (!!!!) items from the menu and then have to drink/discuss each of the beers.

Oh wait, unless you're under 21. Then you just get to watch me and the guy drink 6 beers, get sloshed, and get paid for it. Every. Day. This. Week.

March forth, bitches.

next...

So I'm in charge of organizing and conducting interviews for a job. We film all of the Jacksonville Suns home games and we also run the jumbotron...during the baseball season...which is April-August. We're looking for someone to run a camera and someone else to run the jumbotron. Not brain surgery, and it's a part time job, at best.

So here are some really fantastic e-mail responses I've gotten from the job listings.

"I am interested in the job. How much will you pay me?"

"I am qualified and can start right away. I am avaliable all weekdays and nights, and also weekends."

"I understand this job pertains to baseball, but I wont live in Jacksonville until September, will I still qualify?"

And my absolute favorite:

"I think I would be very good at this job, but I have a few questions? Where will I park my car? I don't like my possesions to be tampered with and I want to make sure my car is safe."

Oh, first impressions. You are a dear friend of mine.

When I grow up, I wanna be...

My job situation is terrible, at best. I have this job where the people are really nice but it's a little homespun opperation and they just simply don't have enough stuff for me to do, which, roughly translates to, they don't have enough money to pay me.

I worked at a sex shop (I'm sorry, a romance superstore) before this job and took a huge pay cut (yes, the sex industry banks) because I thought it was more carreer oriented, but seriously, I'm running out of monetary resources.

Now I'm one of those people who has about a thousand things she wants to do when she grows up and don't really know anything about any of them. I would like to own a restraunt, I would like to work in television, I would like to create the mixed tapes you hear in chain restraunts and stores like the gap. Seriously, how do you become one of those people? I would so kick ass at that!

Anyways, I need money. And also, new friends wouldn't hurt either. I've come up with 2 options - but please, if you have others, let me know.

Option A - Get a job as a waitress - flexible hours, like minded people, tip money, help me figure out if I really want to own a restraunt.
A1 - I could still keep my crappy little job, but I'm not sure why i would
Option B - Quit my job and go to a temp agency and work temp jobs til I get offered a legit, bonified (but probably lame) job.

Please leave your thoughts and suggestions*.


*suggestions I dont want - Monster, career builder, hot jobs and the like. I'm being serious, has anyone ever gotten a job off of those things? A job that didn't entail some sort of marketing, be it of the tele-, door to door, or internet varieties?

at least i got to go home early...

You know whats really fun about editing for four straight hours?

When your hard drive crashes.