Ya'll come back now, ya here!!

In Atlanta now, finishing out the last leg of my road trip before I move permanently to Tampa and start school next week. I promise then that I'll be back in full force.

Memphis was great and included all of the ridiculous Memphisey things you'd expect like an over abundance of bbq, ducks in the middle of fancy down town hotels, bbq, Graceland, sweet southern hospitality, barbecue, beautiful weather and is now a bad time to mention that I really don't like barbecue and would be grateful if you ST OPED TAKING ME TO BBQ RESTAURANT BECAUSE I'M NOT GOING TO SUDDENLY LIKE IT JUST BECAUSE I'M IN MEMPHIS.

I digress.

So yesterday Jeff and I were driving through Mississippi on our way from Tennessee to Georgia. Now, I love to break stereotypes. I like to blow peoples minds when I don't fit in the mold they've tried to put me in and, I am always hoping that people and things will surprise me when they turn out to be different then they are perceived.

I really had these hopes for Mississippi when we stopPed in a place called Peppertown to get gas. Peppertown instantly struck me as dirty and old and I was disappointed when we pulled in the only gas station and the mini mart, or, as it was called, the Minit Mart, was very very tiny and I was hungry so I didn't actually think they would have much for me to choose from. It was only slightly bigger than say, a baseball concession stand. I walk inside and holy crap, it was an entire grocery store. It was no Publix, but it was probably 5 times the size I actually thought it was. It had bananas and onions affectionately labeled "The Produce Department" and had deli meat in a cooler as well as buggies. I'm pretty sure those three features are what push an institution from convenience store to grocery store.

Anyways, the entire population* of Peppertown was in the Minit Mart, either as an employee, customer or loiter. Over at the only checkout counter the cute little cashier girl was fighting with an older woman.

"If you think you're so damn fancy then just move back to Tupalo!"
"I'm just sayin' that we've got a Walmart in Tupalo and ya'll are really missin' out!"
"Not everyone has the lllluuuuxxxxaaaarrryyyy of gettin' to go to Walmart whenever they damn well feel like so if you think you're better than us than you can just leave and never come back"

Everyone got behind the cashier and hooted at the fancy lady for being too hoity toity because she shops at Walmart of a regular basis.

Way to fall entirely into the Mississippi hick stereotype, Peppertown.




*Population of Peppertown, Miss: 17

Queen of the road

Yesterday my mom and I drove 13 hours from Tampa to Memphis with a twin bed and a lot of other stuff in the back seat. It felt like the beverley hill billies.

Some key points-
Puddles, my moms dog, made enemies with a guy on a motorcycle and a collection of orange flashing baracades.

I never knew that Birmimgham, Alabama was so beautiful. It reminded me of German mountain towns with nicer people.

About 100 miles or so outside of Birmimgham we saw a tin shack with "Willie's Boobie Trap Topless Bar".
My life is better now.

So, here I am with Jeff and my parents in Memphis. I'll let you know how bad ass Graceland is in a few days.

If I could by the world a coke, I would probably put the money to better use.

I'm in Atlanta, slightly intoxicated, and, for some reason, writing in my blog.

We did a lot of Atlanta-esque things today; the aquarium, the CNN behind the scenes tour (AMAZING!) and the World of Coke.

Now, if any body knows me...really knows me...then you know what a big fucking deal this was that I went. It's a brand new World of Coke. Just opened, state of the art, blah blah blah times bigger than the other one. All new new new new.

When I was roughly 14, I went to the old World of Coke and decided that they were brain washing people and were essentially forming an army to take over the world. Seriously. How I came to this conclusion isn't exactly clear to me. I know it had something to do with being forced to watch a movie before we could do anything else and how it was about third world countries struggling to survive until a truck full of coke showed up and everybody was all better.


Look, I don't know, but it made a lot of sense at the time. I was passionate about how I hated coke, and was pretty passionate about not going to the New World of Coke. But then I thought that I could actually go and take pictures, you know, document the conspiracy (seeing how I couldnt really remember anything that I was actually so offended over). So we went.

And heres my conclusion:

Coke caught on to the fact that I was spreading the truth about their terrible mind control games, thus needing to make the new world of coke (which is already more successful then new coke which only lasted for 79 days). New world of coke includes Andy Warhol paintings, 4d movies, and of course, 63 different sodas to drink to your hearts content (or til you vomit). So, of course its worth the 15 dollars, and 45% less mind controlish...i think...but, I don't know, maybe I got sucked in. I just don't trust it.

Plus, I've brushed my teeth 4 times today, because seriously, 63 different kinds of soda to drink? it makes my teeth and my brain grainy and smelly.

But I dont have a brain brush.



shannon says "tell the blogosphere 'peace' for me".
done.

Also, at a bar tonight, Shannon said "Oh the things I put in my ass..."

Also, Also, Meaghan says it probably wasn't worth the 15 dollars.

I'm baaacccckkk!

I know I haven't written in this baby for a long time, but I only know of two people who actually read it, and one of them just had an amazing revelation about my feelings towards her.


"joanna: he kept saying shit in a british accent, but a terrible one
joanna: and i thought of you, because i wanted to punch him in the face
joanna: and i realized what he was doing was exactly something id do to you"

When I first read this conversation, I thought she had said "I realized what he was doing was exactly something you'd do to me", and I thought that was brilliant. But even with the dyslexia feature turned off, its still fantastic because it proves a point, Joanna and I derive an unnatural amount of pleasure from pissing each other off.


One of my most treasured moments in my life was riding in Joanna's car as we drove back to college after spending Easter weekend with our families. Joanna's had received a bag of jelly bellies for Easter, one of those big bags that are about 45% delicious and 55% want to vomit flavors. So, I made up a game where I told Joanna I was going to create delicious combinations of jelly bellies and feed them to her while she drove. (Yes, I physically placed the jelly bellies in her mouth. We actually do this often and preface said feedings with statements such as "if you eat this gummy worm, then when i die you'll have me cremated and swim in my ashes") (Did I mention we're the creepiest people alive?) But every single jelly belly combination I put in her mouth was disgusting. I'm talking "licorice-strawberry jam-pina colada" and "buttered popcorn-dr. pepper-pink grapefruit" combinations. Most of them were so bad that after she chewed them for a minute, she would spit them out of the window. But that was the thing. She would always think that this time, this next time, things were going to taste good. Sure, I said before each installment "this one is going to be so delicious" but after 3 or 4 times, wouldn't you stop believing me? Anyways, she never did and we laughed - stomach hurting howls - for about 2 hours straight. Because we truly derive an unnatural amount of pleasure from pissing each other off.