What it sounds like to be Sarah and Amanda, discussing the vast secrets of Lost and religion:
Amanda: so I just ruined Lost for my friend who lent me season 1
Sarah: oh yeah, how did you do that?
Amanda: i said that Aaron is jesus and Locke is god
Sarah: oh, they hadn't figured that out yet?
Amanda: not the brightest crayon in the box
Amanda: he got the religious connotations
Amanda: but wasnt clear on them
Sarah: well, now he understands. i'm the virgin mary, btw.
Sarah: and you're the camel in the manger
Amanda: why am I the camel
Amanda: and you are NO virgin
Sarah: because you store water
Sarah: in your back
Sarah: duh
Amanda: so that would make u the inn keeper
Sarah: why?
Amanda: becuase youre the mean one who hate virgins and prego people
Amanda: and wont share
Sarah: i do hate virgins. thats a fact.
Sarah: but i ate baby jesusaaron for breakfast. I shared him with walt who is obviously the little drummer boy
Amanda: see, a virgin hating non-virgin cant be a virgin
Amanda: walt is obvisouly the drummer boy, but a canabal at heart
Amanda: ohh what trickery the bible has played on us
Sarah: yeah.
Sarah: indeed.
Sarah: when aaron grows up he turns into sayeed cuz, i mean, jesus is middle eastern
Amanda: f that, Im becoming a pagen again, ALL HAIL ZUSE!
Amanda: wow, how does that happen, arron turnig into sayeed, ohh because of the island to real world time difference
Sarah: exactly. aaron leaves the island, grows up, turns middle eastern, (ie, me and walt eat him then he gets pooped out) then returns as an adult but doesn't know that its him because its a little white baby
Amanda: yeah, thats why all middle easterns are brown,. they were shat out by you back in the biblical days when u turned down mary
Sarah: I EAT BABIES!
Sarah: have you ever seen dogma?
Amanda: yes
Sarah: that movie is all about religion and they have a shit monster!
Amanda: they do!!!!
Amanda: see,. its all in the bible
Amanda: they just re woreded it so ppl would take jesusarron side and not youre
Amanda: its all a scam
Amanda: that Sawyer taught claire
Sarah: whatever man, i dont care. im not gonna hate on them. lost is bringing the truth out
**************
Amanda: wait wait
Amanda: since me and you are always enemies in every story we make up
Amanda: and youre the anit christ that ate jesus
Amanda: that would make me GOD!
Amanda: b/c clearly Im not the camel
Sarah: but...but...
Sarah: does that make you...locke?
Amanda: soon sarah, the anit christ, we will battle
Amanda: i am god, i can take any form
Sarah: the holy trinity? the father, amanda and the holy locke?
Amanda: thats IT
Sarah: hold on though. walt comes back as a ghost figment type being...and also a lot taller and more grown up...so maybe the trinity is "locke, amanda and the holy walt"
Sarah: taller ghost walt
Amanda: no, b/c walt eat jesus
Amanda: he cant eat himself
Amanda: that would make walt jesus
Amanda: and arron something else
Sarah: but walt is the holy ghost
Sarah: taller holy ghost walt
Amanda: but they are all the same thing me, lock and the ghost, so are we saying that jesus isnt even part of the holy trinity that he said he ws to be part of
Amanda: we just cracked the foundation of religion
Sarah: holy crap! where does aaron fit into the equation?!?! there isn't enough spots! its like musical chairs
Amanda: maybe arron is a decoy
Sarah: i just instantly pictured one of those cpr babies
Sarah: and you kinda shaking it as a visual going "decoy! decoy!"
Amanda: aaron is the anti christ
Amanda: its your spawn
Amanda: and he betrays you
Amanda: so u eat him
Amanda: to teach him a lesson
Amanda: i hear the digestive track can be very painful
Sarah: and then poop out sayeed
Amanda: and thatys why sayeed is so bad ass, i mean you have to be to survive the small instestine
Sarah: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Sarah: i have to put this convo, slighly edited for content, in my blog
Amanda: please do it, i dont want proof of this convo to disapear into the void that is the information super highway never to be retrived again
Sarah: mary and david walked along the information super highway before
giving birth to aaron. Which means we're back to where we started. Jesus = aaron.
Amanda: Ah ha. We've come full circle!
Back in the F.L.A. after what I was told was a week but only felt like a few hours. I guess time really does fly when you're having fun! But people, I say this with the utmost honesty, it was only fun for me and Amanda. I flew all the way to Ohio to basically play Mario Kart, smoke pot, watch flight of the conchords and go out at night. See, I didn't eactly go to Ohio, I went to Amanda. We acted as if we still lived in the same, small college town with little to no responsibilites and it was fabulous. Plus I got to see snow, lots of it. (Ok, not that much, but the ground was completely white 70% of the time).
(This could potentially be gross, so, heads up)
The cold did something terrible to my skin, though. Just awful. Has your skin ever been so damaged that it physically hurts? My skin, which is generally nurished by the moist warm air that I have become acustomed to in my 22 years, now looks diseased. First it started scaling, then the scales actually cracked and when the cold dry air decided that it hadn't inflicted enough damage on me, the skin on my legs started scabbing up. Oh, and did I mention I had quite a lovely tan before I left? Because now I'm just splotchy from where half of the taned skin has come off.
I was gonna post a picture of amanda and me frolicking in the snow but every once and a while my camera decides to be a little bitch and not load on to my computer.
To all of my loyal and dedicated readers,
To Vanessa,
I will be gone for a week in OHIO!!! WOOO!! To see my best friend in the entire world, Amanda!!! WOOO!!
Hopefully it will snow and stick and I'll make a snowman, but I have a feeling it wont.
But regardless, I'll see you fools (but seriously, I'm only certain that Vanessa reads my blog on a normal basis since she's the only one who ever comments) next Tuesday.
I'm out, suckas!!
